Short Skits and One Liners
Table of Contents
The style of a walk-on is simple.
A walk-on should in general be pre-arranged with the person who is supposed
to be up there talking. If it is not pre-arranged it can be more of a practical
joke. While the leader is talking, a Scout walks on stage doing or saying
something. The leader responds accordingly, usually in an exasperated way,
and the Scout then says the groaner punch line.
1) The first person calls from
out of sight "Hey Fred, look! I'm in the top of a 100 foot tall tree."
The second person: "But Joe, we don't have any 100 foot tall trees in camp.
First person: "Oh noooo....", screams as he is falling.
2) 1st person: "Excuse
me, but is that the sun or the moon?"
2nd person: "I don't know. I'm new to these parts too."
3) Two boys playing quick
1st boy: "My Scoutmaster
(Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the West."
2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."
1st boy: "Toeless Joe."
4) 1st boy: "I heard you
had an accident on your hike today."
2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."
1st boy: "You don't call that an accident?"
2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."
5) DRAG: Have two boys
drag a third boy across the stage. The third boy says: "What a drag!"
6) Big Chief: Bring in
10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into desert without water
for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You understand?
Indian Brave: Yes. What do I do to get pronounced Little Brave.
7) A boy walks across stage
carrying a car door. He is asked why he is carrying the car door.
The boy answers so that he can roll down the window when it gets hot.
8) The scene is a courtroom
scene with one person as the judge. A person walks through the court carrying
a sign or a skunk stuffed animal. The judge watching says: "Odor in the
court! Odor in the court!"
9) The three boys are in
a line facing the audience.
Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"
First Boy: Hey, wait a
minute, I'm the beginning.
Middle Boy: I'm the middle.
Last Boy: That's nothing I'm the end.
10) A boy is sitting on
the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby.
The game warden appears.
Fisherman: Are you the game warden.
Game warden: Yep!
Fisherman:Just teaching him how to swim(pointing to the worm on the pole)
11) (Boy runs on interrupting
leader): "We interrupt this program for an important news flash." Turns
flashlight on and off, shining it in the audience's eyes. Most effective
at a campfire.
12) 1st Scout: Say wasn't
there a rap at the door?
2nd Scout: I didn't hear anything.
1st Scout: Yes, I'm sure there was a rap at the door!
2nd Scout: I'm sure I didn't hear anything.
The first scout then goes to the door and brings in a coat and tells the
audience as he holds it up for them to see. I knew there was a wrap at
13) 1st Scout: I went fishing
2nd Scout: What did you catch?
1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.
2nd Scout: It did? Which one?
14) A group of boys are
discussing a football game.
1st boy: I sure hope that the ________ wins.
2nd boy: Well I'm sure that _________ will win.
3rd boy: Why ______ will beat them 40 to nuthin'.
4th boy: I can tell you the score of the game before it starts.
The Others: Oh Yeah? You're not that smart.
4th boy: Nuttin' to Nuttin' of course (The others chase him off.)
15) First Scout: I bet
I can jump higher then a house.
Second Scout: I bet you can't.
First Scout: Yes I can. Did you ever see a house jump.
16) Leader: I can make
everyone in the audience into an old fashioned Indian.
Leader: (Leader raises right hand and then says, "How!")
17) Why are you pulling
that rope for? Did you ever try to push one.
18) Wire for Mr. Jones.
I'm Mr. Jones. The clerk hands him a piece of wire.
19) Two guys talking, first
asks the second where he is going; second says fishing. First asks second
what he has in his mouth and the first says worms. The first guy says
good luck and slaps second guy on the back.
20) Radio Announcer: We
interrupt this program for a spot announcement.
Dog (offstage): Arf! Arf! Arf!
Announcer: Thank you, Spot.
21) Scout 1:(running on
stage) "They're after me!"
Scout 2: "Who's after you."
Scout 3: "The squirrels! They think I'm nuts!"
22) Librarian: "Please
be quiet, young man. The people near you can't even read."
Scout: "Then what are doing in a library?"
23) Scout 1: "Did you hear
how my mother strained herself."
Scout 2: "No, how did she manage to do it?"
Scout 3: "She ran through a screen door."
24) Fortune Teller: "That
will be $20 for two questions."
Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions?"
Fortune Teller: "Yes, it is. Now what is your second question?"
A five second gag to
put into a loose moment.
Cast: Campfire chief and
a volunteer in the audience
Campfire Chief: And now
it's time to make a spot announcement. (Dog barks from the audience.)
Thank you Spot.
This one is a run on
that requires the above-mentioned partner whose been around for years
and will be for years more, and good timing. One of the nice things about
this one is that you can use as little as two appearances or if necessary,
you can expand upon it to other situations involving the wordplay about "case" and court. Another line would be at the beginning where the litigant
goes to someone for advice, but they say that they don't have a case,
prompting them to go buy a briefcase.
Cast: Campfire Chief, litigant,
Each time the litigant
comes in, the campfire chief is about to announce or close a skit. Requires
perfect timing or a chief who is able to blend in the litigant's entries
perfectly, or both.
Chief: Hello? I'm trying
to introduce the next item? What are you doing here?
Litigant: (coming in with briefcase) Uh, excuse me, but I need to tell
you something. My inspection results today were terrible, so I'm going
to (lift up briefcase) bring my case to court.
Next appearance, the litigant
is crawling on the ground with a flashlight, without the briefcase:
Chief: Oh, it's you again.
What are you doing down on the ground?
Litigant: I lost my case! I'm looking for it!
Next appearance, the litigant
is up on a table, a high chair, a tall tree stump, in a tree, whatever,
carrying his briefcase. He makes noise to get attention, and the chief
shines a light on him.
Chief: What are you doing
Litigator: I'm bringing my case to a higher court!
Last appearance is a little
dangerous. Be careful to have plenty of open space where people won't
get hurt, and that the chief is ready for this.
Suddenly the briefcase
is flying through the air and the Chief catches it -- if only to protect
the audience -- and exclaims:
Chief: (Flustered) What's
this all about?
Litigator: My case got thrown out of court!
From: Tom Oldershaw
Scene: A person standing
on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person
will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story
teller starts again.
The second person will
need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.
1. Person 2 walks on with
a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply: "I'm taking
by case to court". Walks off.
2. Enters again with a
step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to
a higher court"
3. This time, person two
places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case
on them. "I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't
know about it).
4. This time, without a
case: "I lost my case" [We also "lost the case" by searching all around
the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC ('scuse me, 'pardon me),
under his papers, etc. Then tell him you "lost your case."]
5. Entry with a banana
and case: "What are you doing with that banana?" "I am appealing my case!"
6. Next time: Open and
close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what you are
doing, tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case!"
7. Person enters, case
open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?" Person replies,
"My case got overturned."
Scout: Walks on stage,
looks around slowly and says, "Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!!
Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"
Another scout in the audience:
THUNK (the sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)
1st scout, "Hey George,
look over there, smoke signals."
2nd scout ,"Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st scout, pretending to look away through binoculars, says very slowly, "Help... My... Blanket's... On... Fire.
1st scout looking back at 2nd scout, "Help my blankets on fire?"
Scout 1: Whatcha doing
Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.
Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?
Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!
A quickie goes like this:
Persons runs "onstage" screaming "they're after me! They're after me!"
MC asks "Who's after you"
Person replies "The squirrels, they think I'm nuts"
You need two characters,
one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking
desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"
"What? What's all around
you?" the first player asks. The other replies, "My belt, of course!"
Player walks across the
area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag. Another player
approaches and asks, "What are you doing?"
1st Player: I'm leaving!
-- Thanks to Brenda Beckett,
Owen Sound, Ont.
Two scouts needed, or one
scout and the MC.
One: (walks onto stage
area pulling a string big enough to see)
Two:(asks) What are you doing
One: I'm pulling a string
Two: what are you doing that for?
One: Well, have you ever tried to push one?!
Two scouts needed, or one
scout and the MC.
"They're all over me, they're all over me!"
"What's all over you?"
Walk across the front of
the room tossing a ball several inches to a foot up in the air.
Set up a plant in the audience
or Cubmaster asks "What are you doing?"
Replies, " I'm throwing
Through the meeting or
campfire, different people run through with some container (cups, buckets,
cans, etc). Eventually the MC stops one of them and asks what's going
on to which the reply is "your tent (car, house whatever) is on fire".
Now when we do it we add a great deal to it depending on the location
setting etc. The water carriers ham it up by making it look like a real
effort or something very serious. The MC makes some comment to the audience
each time one runs through including things like requesting a cup of coffee
the next time someone runs through. Sometimes we have people "offstage"
cheering the runner through. And sometimes we change the "punch line".
Like MC: where's the fire?, runner: there's no fire, so & so is thirsty,
at which time someone walks across with a cup and wiping their mouth saying
ahhhhhhh. I think you can get the idea from there.
-- Thanks to Hank Heine:
Alien comes in - traditional "take me to your leader" routine etc. When taken to leader the alien says,
"Stop singing, Ging Gang Goolie -- it's our national anthem..."
-- Thanks to Karin O'Neil:
Mike: Why do you keep the
ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?
Spike: I want to get the story straight!
Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a
Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?
Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.
Cub 2: Are you a beaver?
Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit!
Scene 1: Guy juggling balls.
Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.
Scene 2: Same guy juggling
balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.
Scene 3: Same guy says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!" Juggles balls. Drops
one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)
Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"
Teacher: What has five
fingers and can be made of leather?
Johnny : Eh... I don't know.
Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather?
Johnny : Eh.... I don't know.
Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor General of Canada?
Johnny : Eh.... Three gloves?
Shopper: Have you any four-volt
two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?
Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.
Clerk : Two what?
Clerk : No.
(Three tired looking hikers
enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)
Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! (First
two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).
Center stage is a lad
fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though
he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by
and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.
Passer by: "What are you
doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passer by: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"
1st scout: "OOOOOUCH ,
OOOOOH , OOOUCH."
2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"
1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."
2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."
"They're all around me!"