The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- F through G

Table of Contents

The Failed Reporter

"I'm a reporter. I have been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop. Never. I'm a failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ..."
"Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping?"
"I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop."
"Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemorrhoids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you all doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Oh, I'm a grade school teacher. I just realized that I can't stand whiney little kids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Well I'm a florist, and I've got hay fever." sneeze! "I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "I'm a dentist, hic and I've had the hiccups for the last hic five years. Would you like a tooth removed hic?" He holds one of those pointy dentist things, and each time he hics his hands jerk around "No!" "Then I think I'll hic join you."

"One! Two! Three!!!" They all jump, except for the reporter.
"Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop!" He runs offstage, scribbling furiously on his notepad.
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

The Fire

You need two players and a behind-scenes person to move the fire (an artificial campfire with invisible strings attached).

The players sit by the fire, reading, doing a puzzle, etc. The fire moves slightly. They don't notice. It moves again; they don't notice. This continues until, finally, the fire is pulled off stage. At that point, one of the players looks at the other and says, "Looks like the fire's gone out again!"

-- Thanks to Scouting (UK) magazine

Firebuilding

When we entered the campfire theater the first four scouts walked in with large cans filled only with torn up news paper. The Staff immediately noticed and gave us their attention. One or two came over to see what was up. We let them examine the cans and they found only paper. As everyone was seated, the leaders delivered additional cans, these had water balloons covered with paper. I even threw some paper in the air as we delivered the cans. During the other skits, I sat down with staff carrying a dummy can and left it there. Now for the skit:

Have four volunteers stand across from each other with arms on shoulders making a square. The Next four volunteers bend over with their rears pushed out and their arms around the waist of the four who are standing. The Next four get behind the knees of the four bent over, on all fours. The announcer continues to talk about fire lays and the importance of building a great fire lay. Ham this up and joke about the funny logs the scouts have brought for the fire lay. With everything in place, the announcer reminds all of fire safety and that you must always put out the fire when you are finished. ( at this point the senior staff member was heard assuring the others, no fear, its only paper)The Staff was then properly "put out"! It was a great sales job, and worked so well.

Best skit and Best con at summer camp.--

-- Thanks to Merl Whitebook, Troop 1, Tulsa, Okla.

The Firing Squad

A firing squad lines up with a prisoner. The leader of the firing squad calls out "Ready ... Aim ..." The prisoner shouts, "Tornado!" The soldiers all run for cover and the prisoner escapes. A Second prisoner is brought out, the leader calls out "Ready ... Aim ..>" and the prisoner shouts, "Landslide!", the firing squad runs for cover and the prisoner escapes again. Repeat this for other natural disasters. The last prisoner is brought out and having seen the other prisoners escape decides to do the same thing except he yells "Fire" and the firing squad does.

Version 2:

Probably taken from "You Can't Do That on Television."

Cast: Rifle squad, Commander, Person to be executed
Setting: Jail

Person about to executed is standing at pole, doing a crossword puzzle.

Commander: Ready, aim ... What are you doing?
Person: The crossword puzzle from today's New York Times. A real tough one.
Commander: Did you know I'm about to have you executed?
Person: Sure. Here ... a four letter word meaning burning ... Hmm ... Do you have any idea?
Commander: Four letters -- burning -- (takes puzzle, walks in front of pole, person sneaks away) -- F-I-R-E ! FIRE! It fits!
Firing squad shoots and he buckles over with one of those knowing looks on his face.

Fish Market

Two people, one a fisherman and the other a fish market manager come on stage and hold a long cord between them. The fish market man attempts to call the fisherman on the telephone to see if he has any fish today, the fisherman acts as if he can't hear him. Volunteers are brought out of the audience and hold the cord between the fish market man and the fisherman one or two at a time with the market man attempting to call each time. When several people are holding the line, the market man is able to communicate with the fisherman. The fisherman says that he doesn't have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers hanging on a line showing the line the volunteers are holding up.

Fishin'

Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passerby: "What are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passerby: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passerby: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

Fishing

(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)

Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.
(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.)
Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. Better get back.
Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both row away quickly)

Fishing on a Park Bench

Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into his boat. The policeman ask Goober what he is doing: Goober says: "Somebody has to row the boat" pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

Fishing Success

Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying. The other fisherman get more irritated. After each question, the fisherman catches another fish, bigger than the last. (ham this up) The other gripe and protest. When the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs, spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."

The Fishing Trip

Cast: 4 to 8 Cub Scouts.

Props: Fishing gear, a small row boat or cardboard silhouette of a boat, and a sign that says "boat dock".

Setting: The scene starts with the boat about 10 feet away from the boat dock. The Cub Scouts and their Den Chief are on their way to go fishing. The first Cub stops at the dock then walks out across the water and gets in the boat.

Boy 2: Hey wait for me! (he walks out to the boat)

Den Chief: Oh well... (steps into the water and pretends to fall in and drags himself back to shore)

Boy 3: Hey wait up. Here I come (walks out to the boat)

The Den Chief tries and fails again. The sequence continues until all the boys are in the boat and only the Den Chief remains on shore. Finally, one of the Cub Scouts says: "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"

Flasher

One member seems to be wearing nothing but an overcoat in front of the campfire. As each scout approached him, he would (with his back turned to the audience) flash the "innocent" bystander. Each time that he flashed, the person would either be frightened off or else roll down a hill in uncontrolled hysterics. After his third victim he turned to the crowd and asked "Hey what's the deal?" Revealing that he was wearing shorts with a letter-sized photocopy of the face of the leader, camp director or the like. Once again showing that it's not always so hot to be popular

Flea

Boys standing in a line, first boy scratches, then second on down the line, last boy feels it and says "Oh there you are Marvin, I've been looking all over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin (boy acts as though Marvin has hopped away) you come back here.(goes out into the audience looking and touching people) There you are Marvin, you've got to stay here (looks at pretend speck) Hey you aren't Marvin, (puts it back into the audience) Oh Marvin where are you?

The Flea Circus

Characters: Ringmaster, Cub Scouts in Uniform (any number).

RINGMASTER: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the Den _____ Flea Circus. We will now present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we have silence, please?

[Two Cubs stretch a string. Third Cub places "flea" on the string. Cubs follow movement of flea with exaggerated head movements, as it walks to the center of the string, and turns the somersault. One boy with his mouth open gets too close to the string and gulps as if he had swallowed a "flea".)

FIRST CUB: [Puts hand over mouth, gulps loudly.] I swallowed Hugo! [Begins to cry and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: Err...uh...well... On with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump from this boy's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size of this tiny fellow.

[Boy makes motion of tossing "flea" into dish, then retrieves him in hand.]

RINGMASTER: Well done, Homer. Give the little guy a big hand.

[Boy claps quickly, forgetting Homer...looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, sobs and runs off stage.

RINGMASTER: Too bad. But we must compose ourselves. Our next fabulous act features Hector, the weight lifting Flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world. That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how small Hector is... compare his size to the size of this rock.

[Boy puts Hector on table, proudly points to him, flexes muscles, and points to Hector again.]

RINGMASTER: [To boy] Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it.

[Boy holds up rock in one hand for audience to see... then plops rock back down on table without looking. Looks around for Hector, picks up rock and finds smashed Hector.]

BOY: Hector! Hector! [Sobs, hangs head, and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: We seem to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now introduce Harry, the bare-back riding flea.

[Boy removes shirt, then pretends to place "flea" on his bare back, then runs off stage yelling.]

BOY: Hang on, Harry! [Looks over shoulder while running offstage.]

RINGMASTER: [Relieved.] He made it! And now Hiram and Hillary will perform their world famous trapeze act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will catch her.

[Boys hold up trapeze made of soda straws with a string through them. Two boys each hold one. Third boy places "flea" on trapeze and begin to swing it.]

RINGMASTER: There they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault. One, two, three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!

[Boys begin looking for Hillary on the floor.]

BOY: There she is! Points to floor near second boy.]

SECOND BOY: Where? [Takes a step where other boy pointed.]

BOY: You just stepped on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster] we have another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea! [Opens box] Oops, he got away!

[Ringmaster begins to scratch frantically, yells help several times, and runs off stage. (Preferably into audience. ;) )

BOYS: [Chasing him] Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!

[Curtain]

-- From the Theodore Roosevelt Council 1989 Powwow Book. Thanks to Chuck Bramlet, ASM Troop 323, Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon Council, Phoenix, Az

Flora the Flea

Cast: Performer

The performer is putting his trained flea Flora through all her tricks, explaining all her tricks as she does them. His eyes follow every flip, jump, etc. as she performs and lands back in his hand. The he asks her to jump to the ceiling. His eyes lose her and she doesn't return. He looks high and low (perhaps with the help of a friend) but can't find her. Finally he looks in someone's hair.

Performer: (Delighted) Flora! There you are! I'm so glad to have you back. (looks more closely.) But say ... this isn't Flora!

Alternate Ending ... when Flora has done all her tricks,

Performer: Let's hear a big round of applause for Flora! (Begins to clap, then stops, horrified, realizing what he's done.)

Fly in the Soup

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter : (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !

Flying High

Boys on a flight to Germany or other destination. They act up and really give the stewardess or steward (den leader, 11 year old patrol leader etc.) a hard time. Finally, one of them bumps into her/him and knocks a tray on him/her. The steward/stewardess smiles and says, "Why don't you boys just run outside and play."

Fly in the Soup

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter: (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !

Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara

An easy 2-person skit if you have only one person who's thirsty.

Cast: 2 or 3 People, cup of water, combs, Narrator
Setting: Sahara Desert

Narrator: Here are some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the desert for days. Let's watch.

Two or three people are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally, they see the cup of water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally, they get to the water and,

People: Ahhhh! (Relieved -- they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to comb hair.)

The Fortune Teller

This is a campfire skit. You can plan it carefully if you want. If you have a good spontaneous actor, he might be able to ad-lib responses to each object presented to him, without advance planning. The Announcer should always tell the audience what object is given to the Fortune Teller, because they usually will not be able to see clearly.

The Skit

A small tent is set up, with an old lady sitting in front of it. This can be a Scout wrapped up in a blanket, who speaks with an old lady's voice. An Announcer introduces her as a very accurate teller of fortunes who can predict a person's future by touching anything belonging to the person.

The Announcer calls up a series of Scouts. He asks the first Scout what he has brought, and the Scout produces a pencil. The Announcer hands the pencil to the Fortune Teller and asks her to tell the future of the owner. The Fortune Teller waves her hands and mumbles some words and then predicts that the owner will become a writer.

The scene is repeated. A Scout produces a comb from his pocket, and the Fortune Teller predicts that he will become a hairdresser. A third Scout has a dollar, and she predicts that he will become a successful banker.

After several of these, the Scapegoat is summoned from the audience. The announcer asks what he has to show the Fortune Teller. No matter what the Scapegoat suggests, the Announcer says it is not good enough. Either it has been done before, or it is too easy, or "That's no fun!", or any other reason. Finally, the Announcer suggests that the Scapegoat try his shoe, and makes him take it off.

The shoe is handed to the Fortuneteller, who repeats her mumbo jumbo. (If the Fortune Teller is a good pantomime, this is a wonderful opportunity to make faces, hold her nose, etc.) She then announces, "You will take a long walk in the woods!" She throws the shoe far into the woods.

Four Leaf Clover

A person finds a four leaf clover. He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him. They accuse each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other. A policeman comes along, the other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky person is hauled off to jail. The lucky person reappears, disgruntled and unhappy. Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover. Another finds it. The former lucky man comes back on stage. The person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars and has good luck since he found it. The former lucky man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.

The Four Seasons

The narrator narrates, everyone else is volunteers.

"I need eleven volunteers for this skit."

"This skit is called the Four Seasons. You three are trees. You three are leaves in trees, get up in the trees. You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees. You two are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing. And you're the babbling brook. You have to babble."

"Babble babble babble babble ..."

"In the spring, the leaves come out on the trees. The birds flit from tree to tree."

"In the summer, the leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest. The birds form flocks"

"In the fall, the leaves drop from the trees. The birds fly away south."

"In the winter, the brook freezes and stops babbling. All seems still in the forest. But beneath it all there is still life. Look! The sap is still running!"

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Fred the Trained Flea

"Here in my hand is Fred the Trained Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch closely."

"Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"

"Fred, do a somersault!"

"Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.

"Now Fred will do a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster, or someone in authority.

"Fred, do a long jump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped into your hair!"

Walk over to the volunteer, start picking through their hair. "Here we are .. no, that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either." "Boy, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred? Fred?" ...

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Friends of Years

Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into his boat. Goober pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

The Frightened Hunter

Cast: Story teller, hunter, game warden

The story teller tells the story, while the hunter pantomimes the story and his actions. The game warden comes in on cue.

Story Teller: There once was this hunter who was hunting for several years in the same location. Every year, he would see a deer grazing on the edge of a cliff, which was just outside the allowed hunting zone. The deer would never come into the hunting zone. Now this was a very big deer, and would have been a wonderful prize. But the hunter was always unsure, and didn't want to lose his license. Finally one year, the hunter decided that he was going to shoot the deer anyway, as he wasn't having much luck. He went up to the deer, saw that it was dead, and threw it over his right shoulder, then put his gun over his left shoulder. All of a sudden, the game warder came up to him.

Game Warden: Excuse me, sir, I was just watching you. What's that over your shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over left shoulder) That's my hunting rifle.

Game Warden: And what's that over your other shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over right shoulder, and shakes off the deer) AAHHHHHH!

Game Show

The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

-- Thanks to James Brezina

Gathering of the Nuts I

An announcer asks if the audience will help with the squirrel's harvest. Several boys dressed up like squirrels with paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out into the audience bring back people known for their crazy behavior. They are gathered on the stage and the announcer says that the title of the skit will be, "The Gathering of the Nuts."

Gathering of the Nuts II

Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great expense to create one of my living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need some trees. (Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.)

Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.

(Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.)

Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything. (A tall participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.)

Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around. (Assistant Leaders are chosen for rabbits)

Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling ? (The brook takes his place.)

Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."

The General Store

The scene is a general store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter. The counter is easily represented by a long table with a few items piled on it.

Behind the Storekeeper is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son. He has a full change of clothes with him.

The Skit

The Storekeeper introduces himself. He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him to run it. He is very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every customer, no matter what the customer wants.

A customer enters, walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat. The Storekeeper turns and calls out, "Hey Son, I need a hat." The curtain moves, and a hand reaches through with a hat. The customer admires it, and they agree on a price. The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks out acting pleased.

Other customers repeat the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants. Each time, there is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay before the clothing is handed through the curtain. There are sounds of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment to sell whatever the customer needs.

The last customer walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear. The Storekeeper does not hear him, and makes him repeat it until everybody can hear clearly. Finally he says, "Oh of course. Underwear! Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens.

The Storekeeper repeats his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear." There is no answer. He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son, and says he will get the underwear himself. He stomps off behind the curtain.

The curtain shakes, and we hear, "No, Pa! No, Pa! No!" The Son runs through the curtain and across the stage wearing only underpants.

The Ghost of Midnight

This one is similar to the Ghost With One Black Eye, but each is different enough to merit their own title (after all, going through all of the skits, you'll realize that many skits are simple variations on another.)

Cast: Ghost, Family asleep in house
Setting: House at Night

Ghost: (Going up to Mom, wakes her up -- uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Mom: Ahhh!
Ghost: (To Dad -- same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Dad: I'm getting out of here!
Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Son: Help! Mommy!
Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shut up! It's only 11:45!

Ghost With One Black Eye

Cast: Ghost, 3 Pedestrians
Setting: City Street

#1: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A loony!
Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#1 scared; drops loony; runs away)

#2: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar!
Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#2 scared; drops dollar; runs away)

#3: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! Money!
Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
#3: Keep it up, and you'll get another!

Ghostcatchers

Two guys start a ghost catching business. They go to this house and can't get rid of the ghost. The ghost finally leaves because one of the guys sings very badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it and leaves.

Giant Worm

On stage you have a boy concealed in a sleeping bag that is open on both ends, he is the Giant worm. Several "hikers" happen upon the worm. The hikers are eating and carrying with them a supply of candy bars. They look at each other in amazement ask each other "I wonder what he eats" The hikers hold some candy bars near the mouth of the worm. The worm gobbles up the candy bars wrappers and all. Then the worm quickly discards empty wrappers form the other end.(stuff happens). The hikers run away. Another group of hikers comes along drinking soft drinks and repeats the routine. The third group comes along with nothing to eat or drink. this group should have your smallest scout. this group also ponders what this giant worm would et. At that moment the worm gobbles the smallest scout. Then discards a pair of pants and shirt out the other end. The worm walks off with the eaten scout under the sleeping bag. The hikers run away.

Glass of Water

There is a glass of water in the middle of the stage. First scout crawls across the floor crying for water. He dies dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl. The second person dies just short of the glass of water. The third person on his last bit of strength really hams up his desperation as much as he can. He reaches the water, takes out a comb, grooms his hair with the water, sighs with relief and goes off stage.

Go Cart

(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')

Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now the front wheel has come off. (Selects member of audience) Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks. (Selected person may have some comments to respond to - then they are led to the cart.)

Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)

Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)

Driver : Now what is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.)

Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else) Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts engine.)

Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)

Driver : (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help) (New help is positioned at rear wheel.)

Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts engine)

Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)

Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it going !

Gone Fishin'

Three boys sitting on a bench or chairs in the front of the room. The two boys on outside have fishing poles, the one in the middle is reading a newspaper. Boys with lines act like they are fishing.

Cub 1: Sure haven't been catching much.
Cub 3: I haven't even had a nibble.
Policeman: (walks on from offstage.) What are you guys doing?
Cub 1: Fishing, sir.
Policeman: Can't you tell this is a pack meeting?
Cub 3: No, it's a pond!
Policeman: (nudges man with paper and he lowers it) Do you know these two characters?
Cub 2: (folds newspaper) Sure, they are my friends.
Policeman: In that case, you'd better get them out of here.
Cub 2: Yes, sir. (reaching behind chair, picks up a paddle and acts as if he is paddling away.)

The Good Samaritan

A Scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face. He struggles noisily to get up, but keeps his forehead on the floor. He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor, and his butt in the air. He rotates in this position, keeping his forehead in one place. He calls for help for help, repeating "My forehead is stuck!"

As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but they do not help.

Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is effusively grateful, but the rescuer just looks at his face. He reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here!"

Good Soup

Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.

Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.

(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.)

Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.

Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.

David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.

Matthew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.

Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water !!!

Version 2:

Known by the same title in the Leader Magazine.

Cast: Three or four Cubs or Scouts, Cook, Tub
Setting: Kitchen

#1: (Over tub, tasting contents) Good Soup!
#2: Yeah, Good Soup!
#3: I know! Good Soup!
#4: None better than this! Good Soup!
Cook: (Comes running in) Get out of my dishwater!

Granny! Wake Up!

Cast: Grandson, Granny (2 people), Volunteer, Victim, campfire blanket(s)
Setting: In Granny's Room

Granny is in bed (say on the floor,) and of course is covered with blankets. Your two grannies lie down on their backs, as close together as possible, with heads in opposite directions. The head of one is exposed, the other being covered and where Granny's "feet" are.

Try to figure out a way to set up the audience such that it seems like the right way to be addressing Granny, such as Her being afraid of getting any worse and wanting to be completely covered up to avoid getting cold.

Grandson: (To Granny) Granny! Wake Up! It's time for your pill! (Pause -- no response.) Granny! Wake Up! Oh no! She may be dead! (Ham it up, boys!) My gosh, I'll need some help! (Get volunteer.) Help me wake Granny!

Both of them: Granny! Wake UP! Wake Up!

Grandson: Oh, what ever will we do? She needs to take that pill! I think we need more help! (Get victim.) Will you help us? Just call out with us to wake up Granny.

All of them: GRANNY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Grandson: Maybe if you stand over her and ask her for a sign that she's still alive.

Victim: OK. (Stands over her) Granny! Wake Up! Please! Give me a sign!

Granny's "back end" rises up and hits him on the behind.

Granny's Candy Store

Paint a verbal picture of the various scouts acting as a cash register (person says ching, ching), popcorn machine (goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal, swinging saying creak, creak), tree, chair, etc. Have three guys standing there with no parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a time, as customers. They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice, gum, etc. Finally disgusted, a customer asks what she does have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers standing in the corner.

The Greatest Spitter in the World

Another 2-person skit you can plug in.

Cast: GSITW, Partner with metal pot (with a bit of water in it) and a pebble
Setting: Boardwalk, Circus, Amusement Park

Separate GSITW and partner by about 15 feet.

Partner: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I present to you the Greatest Spitter in the World! He does all kinds of tricks with a mere spit! Let him show you the simple spit first!

GSITW sends off a regular spit, which is caught in the pot by the partner. When it's supposed to land, he hits the bottom of the pot with a secret pebble he holds in his hand.

Partner: Ladies and Gents! That is not all he can do! Watch his fastball!

Again, another spit which immediately "lands" in the pot. Continue with tricks, such as slow spit, high spit, round the world spit (in which case each turns around, backs facing each other, and the spit takes a while to come around but indeed does,) curve spit, and so on. Finally,

Partner: Now for his last spit! It's a really difficult spit but we think we have it! It's a high, quadruple axle, curvy, spring jump spit! We must have absolute silence for this one!

GSITW spits up, partner follows it up, doing 4 spins, it curves side to side, begins to jump up and down in air, then he seems to lose it ... no, there it is ... he goes side to side, trying to catch it, he trips and spills the water on the crowd.

Grease

Boy 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece.
(Boy 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.)
Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.
Boy 2: Oh yeah, that's in back of the cafeteria.

Green Side Up! Green Side Up!

Characters: A Building Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made for one person)

Contractor (inside house): Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks to space that is living room).

Wife: I like white.

Husband: No, how about blue?

Wife: How 'bout tan?

Husband: Okay.

Contractor: Okay...(writes down on paper) um.. wait just a second. The contractor goes to the window looks out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green side up!"

This repeats for two more rooms. Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side Up", couple converses between themselves and are not sure about the sanity of the contractor.

After the last room:

Husband: Mr. (whatever you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!" outside the window? We didn't order any green wall paper!?!

Contractor: Oh. I am sorry folks. Boy scout troop is being lead by Scout Master and we just want to make sure the sod gets laid down right.--

-- Thanks to Josh Small

The Greyhound Bus

Cast: Shopper with a BIG package higher than his head, Pedestrian, People who are Cars and One Bus
Setting: Busy Intersection

Cars and trucks whiz by and don't stop for pedestrians.

Shopper: Excuse me, Sir, could you tell me when there's nothing coming down the street, so that I may cross?

Pedestrian: Sure. (Pauses until cars stop whizzing by. Bus begins coming down the street.) Now you can cross. There's only a dog coming. (He begins to cross; bus hits him.)

New Setting: Hospital Ward

Pedestrian: (To shopper in bed) Gee, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.

Shopper: It's all right. These things happen once in a while. But tell me, why did you say there was a dog coming down the street when it was really a bus?

Pedestrian: Well, it was a Greyhound!

The Growing Machine

The cardboard box needs to be large enough to hold one of the players and various props. "Load" it and push it on stage, where a narrator explains that this marvelous machine has been invented by tonight's guest, Professor..., who will demonstrate its tremendous powers. He introduces the professor, who enters carrying a bag of his props.

The professor explains he has invented a wonderful machine that makes things grow. He proceeds to demonstrate. He pulls a small piece of paper from his sack, pushes buttons, etc., and throws in the piece of paper (sound effects, flashing lights). The player inside throws out a paperback book. The demonstration continues with small ball in, large ball out; piece of string in, hunk of rope out; etc. Finally, the professor throws in a baby doll. The player inside jumps out in baby clothes, cries "Daddy!", and chases him off stage.

-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, May 1989


Scouts Using the Internet Cartoon - Courtesy of Richard Diesslin - Click to See More Cartoons
© 1994-2014 - MacScouter | Site Map | Disclaimer | Project Team | Web Stats | Contact Us | Privacy Policy

The MacScouter Scouting Rersources Online website is provided by R. Gary Hendra, Tindeuchen Chapter adviser OA and ASM Troop 92, Milipitas, CA; President, U.S. Scouting Service Project. E-mail the MacScouter

Made on a Mac

Materials found at The MacScouter website may be reproduced and used locally by Scouting volunteers for training purposes consistent with the programs of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) [Links to BSA Sites], the World Organization of the Scout Movement (WOSM) or other Scouting and Guiding Organizations. No material found here may be used or reproduced for electronic redistribution or for commercial or other non-Scouting purposes without the express permission of the U. S. Scouting Service Project, Inc. (USSSP) or other copyright holders. USSSP is not affiliated with BSA or WOSM and does not speak on behalf of BSA or WOSM. Opinions expressed on these web pages are those of the web authors. You can support this website in two ways: Visit Our Trading Post at www.ScoutingBooks.com or make a donation by clicking the button below.

(U.S. Scouting Service Project Donation)


(Ruth Lyons Memorial Donations)