The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- W through Z
Ideal for a six or patrol,
this skit calls for three or four members standing close together, backs
to audience, as the wall; one to play an employee leaning against the wall;
and one to play the boss. The scene opens with the employee leaning against
the wall. The boss walks in, looking at some papers, sees the idle employee,
stops.
Boss: You there! What's
your name?
Employee: Billy Bob, sir.
Boss: Well, what do you
think you're doing, leaning against that wall like you're holding it up.
Employee: But, I am holding
it up, sir.
(Boss splutters angrily,
tells the employee what a useless, good-for-nothing he is. Employee protests,
but in vain.)
Boss: You're fired! Get
out!
(The employee edges out
along the wall, still trying to protest. The boss turns to audience: the
wall creaks.)
Boss: Imagine! That lazy
son-of-a-gun trying to tell me he was holding up....
(The wall noisily falls
on the boss, who collapses under it with a scream.)
Three Scouts are seated in
a restaurant. A waiter approaches them.
Waiter : What'll you have?
Scout 1: I'll have a tuna
on rye.
Waiter : Why tuna? Salmon's
much better. And have it on whole wheat, it's healthier.
Scout 1: Okay, okay. Make it salmon on whole wheat. Waiter : And you?
Scout 2: I'll have bacon and tomato on toast. And coffee.
Waiter : Bacon's not good for you. And coffee strains your heart. Have
a nice roast beef sandwich and a cup of tea.
Scout 2: Okay, make it a roast beef sandwich and tea.
Waiter : How about you?
Scout 3: What do you suggest?
Waiter : Who has time to make suggestions?
Cast: Waiter, Customers
Setting: Restaurant
Customer 1: Waiter! There's
a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Shh! Everyone
else will want one!
Same line continues on
with other customers about a fly being in alphabet soup (He's learning
to read!) What's this fly doing in my soup? (The backstroke, Sir!) There's
a fly in my soup! (Pass him a life preserver!) I just took a fly out of
my soup. What do you think you should do? (Give First Aid!) Finally:
Last Customer: Waiter,
did you know that there's a fly in my ice cream, too?
Waiter: No! I didn't know
they were into winter sports!
Seen at a Vacation Bible
School Summer Camp. You need six chairs together, and one for the secretary.
The scene is a doctor's office.
The first person comes
in. His shoulder twitches once every 3 seconds. Secretary: "Please take
a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly."
The second guy comes in.
One eye twitches once a second. Secretary: "Please take a seat, the doctor
will be with you shortly." He takes a seat, and after about 5 seconds,
his shoulder starts twitching too, and the first guy's eye starts twitching.
The secretary doesn't get any symptoms.
The third guy has the
hiccups. Now everyone catches the hiccups, and the third guy gets the
two twitches.
The fourth guy sneezes.
The fifth guy's legs wobble. The sixth guy occasionally shakes all over.
Wait a bit, with all the
patients doing all the symptoms.
A scout comes in with
a beach ball under his shirt, like he's pregnant, and all the patients
run out screaming. The pregnant scout and secretary watch, wondering what's
wrong with them.
"Where's the maternity
ward?" Secretary: "Oh, you're in the wrong office, that's two floors up."
It is announced that a member
of the troop has memorized Washington's Farewell Address and is about to
do a dramatic portrayal of it. A boy emerges dressed as Washington and delivers
his farewell address, "Bye Mom!"
A man, crawling across the
stage: "Water, water!!" Someone walks by, and the crawling man tugs on his
pant leg. "Water, Water!"
Man walking by: "Sorry."
He continues walking.
Another man walks by,
the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"
Man walking by: "All I've
got is this beef jerky, sorry." He keeps walking.
Another man walks by,
the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"
Man walking by: "No, I
don't have any." He keeps walking.
The crawling man sees
a cup of water at the other end of the stage. "Water!!" He painfully crawls
over there. "Water! Water!"
When he reaches the water,
he quickly stands up, dunks his comb in it, and uses it to comb his hair.
One of those repetitive
jokes. Difference is, you do the skit to a beat, and everyone bends their
knees in sync (or tries to.) Successful or not, the knee bending (and attempts
to keep in sync) alone makes it hilarious.
Cast: Ma, Pa, Bro, Sis,
Cousin Joe, Auntie Mae, Gramps, Mr. Bankerman
Pa: (Comes out, starts
bending knees to a beat, and says to the beat) Hiya, Folks! I'm Pa (people
can respond ... repeat if desired.) Well, we ain't got the money for the
mortgage on the farm. Boo, Hoo, Boo Hoo Hoo.
Ma: (Comes out, bends
knees to Pa's beat.) Hiya, Pa!
Pa: Hiya, Ma!
Ma: Whatsamatter, Pa?
Pa: Well, we ain't got
the money for the mortgage on the farm.
Pa & Ma: Boo, Hoo,
Boo Hoo Hoo!
Continues with Bro coming
in, saying Hiya, Ma (who responds, Hiya, Bro) to the beat, then says Hiya
Pa, (Hiya, Bro) then Whatsamater Pa? who responds about the mortgage.
Continue in like manner through to Gramps, each lining up beside the person
before them. Continue to Mr. Bankerman, who does the same thing, but faces
the line from the far side. They all go through the scene again, Hiya,
Pa! Hiya, Mr. Bankerman! etc. Whatsamater, Pa? Well, we ain't .... Finally,
Mr. Bankerman: Well, Now
I got Sis (abducts Sis, who of course resists.) Ha, Ha, Ha Ha Ha!
All of a sudden, everyone
shoots at Mr. Bankerman, (Bang! Bang! Bang Bang Bang!) and he falls over
dead. They continue their leg bending. Next line is tricky to a beat,
but think of rap music. (What the heck is rap? You mean that garbage kids
listen to?)
All: Now we don't have
to pay the mortgage on the farm! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha!
A silly repetition skit
that gets the victim wet.
Cast: 4-5 Crew members,
Victim, cup of water
Setting: Submarine
Sit in a line just like
in Veech Boton. Place your victim anywhere in the line but make sure in
advance you know where so that the person before or after has the water.
Captain: (First in line)
Fire #1!
(Goes down the line to
end; make a sound of it exploding)
Captain: We missed! We
have one more try! Fire #2!
(Goes down the line to
end; make a sound of it exploding)
Captain: We missed! We'll
just have to try to outrun them! (They turn left and right and left in
sync, but finally,)
Captain: They hit us!
Incoming water! (Throw water on victim.)
This is performed on a stage.
Hang a large map, or a sheet with some outlines drawn on it, across the
back of the stage. Since the skit involves water, it is a good idea to use
a waterproof ground cloth to protect the stage.
Plan the skit, assemble
the materials, and assign responsibilities ahead of time. Everybody except
the Scapegoat knows what will happen. Let the Scouts decide what kind
of weather to use, and what props are needed to represent it.
The Skit
The Weather Man stands
in front of the map, and presents a parody of the television evening news
report. He reads from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind
of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off-stage.
He announces that the
South will have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large fan blows the papers
in his hand.
The Weather Man reports
that there will be snow in the North. White confetti drops from the sky,
or over the map. He reports hail in the Midwest, and small white objects
pelt him. (Plastic packing makes good hail.)
Each time the weather
reacts to his report, the Weather Man acts more scared. Finally, he turns
the page, stops, and protests that he can't do this any more. He needs
a brave person to read the last forecast for him, and asks for a volunteer
from the audience. With the help of the audience, the 'volunteer' is selected
and pushed forward.
The Scapegoat is handed
the script, and reads, "And tomorrow this area will have heavy rains."
Instantly, he is hit by a bucket of water from offstage.
Variation
The Weather Man and the
Scapegoat will clearly expect something. In fact, the Weather Man will
usually have a hard time hiding his anticipation. Without warning him
about the actual outcome, get him wet instead of the Scapegoat.
Another Variation:
Hang or hold up a large
map, or a sheet with some outlines of states on it. The scouts should
decided on the weather and the props in advance. The Weatherman stands
in from of the map and presents a weather report, (like on TV) He reads
from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind of weather, it appears,
aimed straight at him from off stage. He announces that the South will
have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large wind blows (be creative). The
Weather man reports there will be snow in the North. White confetti falls
from the sky over the weatherman. He reports hail in the midwest and white
objects pelt him. The weatherman acts more and more scared. Finally he
turns the page and stops and quits. He asks for a volunteer to take over.
A volunteer is force to continue. He is handed the script which reads:
TOMORROW THIS AREA WILL HAVE HEAVY RAINS, the reader is immediately drenched
with buckets of water. (Variation, go ahead and drench the weatherman,
especially funny if you have the scoutmaster be the weatherman and he
does not know skit.)
Cast: Trainer, Two People
to be the Elephant, blanket to cover, 4 Victims (or 3 Volunteers and one
Victim; make sure elephant knows who the Victim is), cup of water
Setting: Circus
Trainer: Ladies and gentlemen!
I would like to show you the great tricks that my trained elephant can
do. For instance, he can count! Spot! Count to 5! (Spot thumps 5 times
on the ground.) Now I need some volunteers to help show just how very
well trained my elephant is! Please, lie down on the ground with some
space between you, and the elephant will do some amazing tricks! (Leads
the elephant over the people and it does very well, does not walk on them
at all, goes back and forth over them.) You see, it's a very well trained
elephant; it won't walk on you. (Ham it up and perhaps do a trick or two.
Finally, the elephant spills the water over the victims on a certain cue.)
Oh, my, I guess I forgot to toilet train it!
You can also have everyone
audition for the same line or have them try out for different parts, and
of course ham it up to reflect this.
Cast: Actors, directors,
Gus
Scene: Theater
Director: Okay! Who's
next for the auditions? You? Okay! Let's hear you!
Actor #1: I'm trying out
for the part of the Unknown Soldier. (He lies down, dead.)
Director: Don't call us,
we'll call you. Next!
Actor #2: I'm trying out
for the President ordering the men into action. Men, we must unite to
beat the foe and protect the people!
Director: Very nice. We'll
call your agent. Next!
Actor #3: I'm trying out
for the part of the dying soldier. (He dies a very painful, emotional
death.)
Director: Sorry! Try out
for the next movie. OK! Let's wrap it up!
Gus comes running in.
Gus: Oh please, Sir, I
really would like a part in your play! I really need a break! Just a small
part, Pleeeeeease, Pretty Please, with sugar on top?
Director: Fine. All you
have to do is call out "Oh my Gosh, it's a cannon!" when you hear a loud
boom. Take a moment to practice while we load it up.
Gus practices the line
with several different voices, poses, etc.
Director: OK, let's get
a move on! I want to leave!
(Loud boom from backstage.)
Gus: What the heck was
that?!?!?!?
Three Scouts walk onto the
stage, two of them carrying logs. The two carrying logs sit down and begin
pounding the stage with them, making an incredible racket. They pause, and
the third Scout announces, "How cave men tell time". The first two Scouts
begin pounding again.
A voice from off stage
yells, "HEY! CUT IT OUT, IT'S TWO A.M."
The cave men pick up their
logs and exit all.
-- Thanks to The Leader
Magazine, November 1992
As cute as it is, it really
only is a skeleton. Maybe you could use it as a gag to either place in the
order as with any other skit, or get the campfire chief involved, so that
when he calls up the group, you can make it look like they really don't
have a skit. You know, call them up, have one person start to cry, another,
and at the appointed time, have the chief ask, "Let's get a move on. Get
your skit moving! We're having a campfire here." "But we don't have a skit!"
Cast: Leader, three or
four Kids, Campfire Chief (in campfire blanket)
Setting: Tent Area
Swasin: (Crying on stage)
Kid 1: (Sees leader; goes to him.) Swasin! What's the problem?
Swasin: (Whispers in kid's ear.)
#1 begins to cry too.
#2: Hey! What's the problem?
#1 whispers in #2's ear, and he starts crying too. Continue with #3 and
#4.
Finally, Campfire Chief comes around.
Chief: Hi! I've come around to collect skit names for the campfire tonight!
Hey! What's the problem?
All: We don't have a skit!
Again, one of those pirate
theme skits that can be easily modified (such as it being the boss to employees.)
Cast: Captain, three or
four Pirates
Setting: On the Bridge (Or Deck of a Ship)
Captain: First Mate! What's
2+2?
1st Mate: Duh! One, Sir!
Captain: Good! Bosun! What's 2+2?
Bosun: Uhh ... let's see ... (Counts on fingers) Uhh ... Five, Sir!
Captain: No problem! Gunner! What's 2+2?
Gunner: Sheesh, Captain! Why give me all the hard ones?
Captain: Great! Cook! What's 2+2?
Cook: Let's see. Two apples and two potatoes makes ... (Thinks) Two apples
and two potatoes, Sir!
Captain: Pleased to hear it! You! Floor Scrubber! What's 2+2?
Scrubber: Four, Sir!
Captain: Off with his head! (Cuts off head with sword.)
Servant: Beggin' the Captain's pardon, Sir! I think everyone else got
it wrong, but the floor scrubber got it right. Why did you kill him?
Captain: He's too smart! He might go after my job some day!
One boy plays sergeant and
the rest line up in a row facing the audience. The sergeant tells them to
come to attention for inspection. The last boy in line sneezes. The sergeant
asks who sneezed and doesn't get an answer. He asks the man who sneezed
to step forward in a threatening and commanding tone. The sergeant asks
the first boy if he sneezed and he denies it. The sergeant shoots him. The
next boy in line is asked if he sneezed and he replies, "Not since I was
10 years old." The sergeant shoots him. Each boy has a different answer
as to why he didn't sneeze and the sergeant shoots each one until the last
boy is reached. This boy really worried and shaking, admits that he sneezed
but pleads to the sergeant not to shoot him. The sergeant says that he isn't
going to shoot him but just wanted to say GESUNDHEIT !
Known as "Mounted Scouts"
in the Leader Magazine.
Once modified this
to fit a space theme. You got it -- no changes to the plot or the joke,
just to a few details like a space ship, a 6-legged Aldabian glop, and
a rented air coaster which all broke down.
Cast: Boss, 4 Workers
Setting: Office
Boss: Why are you late?
#1: (Rushing into work,
breathless.) Sorry I'm late, Boss. My car broke down, so I took the bus.
But the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down,
too. Fortunately, I was near a Caläche so I borrowed the horse. But
it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed. I had to jog
the rest of the way!
#2 & 3 come in late
with exactly the same excuse. The boss becomes a little bit more exasperated
each time, until #4 finally comes in, late of course.
Boss: Why are you late?
No, wait. Let me guess. Your car broke down, so you took the bus. But
the bus driver hit a tree, so you took a cab. And it broke down too. Fortunately,
you were near a Caläche and so you borrowed the horse. But it ran
so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so you had to jog the
rest of the way, right?
#4: No boss, you got it
all wrong! The streets were so crowded with broken down cars, buses and
cabs, trees, dead horses, and worst of all some crazy joggers that I couldn't
get through!
You need a screen (white sheet),
Flashlight (bright) and a sick (size of a baseball bat).
The announcer introduces
the worlds greatest pitcher, elaborate on how great he is. No one has
hit him in the last 100 games, (at least with a ball) etc. Get volunteers
(4). Have pitcher throw his pitches: (For fun give each volunteer a stick
and rubber knife and instruct to make a baseball bat)
Announce each pitch in
advance and watch pitcher throw, followed by light on the screen as the
ball advances toward the batter.
1. Fast Ball - Light goes
fast across sheet from the back side)
2. Slider- Light slopes
down across sheet from back side)
3. Curve Ball - light
goes crazy
Each volunteer only gets
one pitch. Of Course since no ball is actually thrown, and they can't
hit the light so they stand there looking foolish.
The final pitch, the Greatest
Ever Spit Ball. Really ham it up. You announce the World's Greatest Spit
Ball. As soon as the Pitcher throws the ball you scream, "Look Out Its
Out of Control", followed by a bucket of water being thrown upon someone:
Your choice, the announcer, pitcher, or batter!
If you are going to get
the batter, let the pitcher throw each pitch and announce it as you see
it on the screen. The final pitch of course is "Oh no its a spit ball!"
The world's greatest spitter
is bragging and demonstrating on how well he can spit. He has an assistant,
who has an empty pail. When the assistant catches the spit, he thwacks the
bottom of the pail with his fingers to make it go ping.
First, do the world's
highest spit. Spit up.
Next, do the world's fastest
spit. Ping the pail at the same time as he spits.
Next, do the world's slowest
spit. Spit in slow motion, wait a while, look at your watch, then catch
it. Ping.
Catch the world's highest
spit. (Someone objects. Explain it traveled further than the slowest spit.)
Next, prepare yourself,
do the world's biggest spit. Hock for a while. Do it behind a sheet. Someone
objects. The world's greatest spitter grabs the pail (now a different
pail, actually, filled with water) and throws the water at him to demonstrate
how big the spit was.
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
A scout gets up and says,
"Tonight, Den ___ is going to present to you a rare public showing of The
World's Ugliest Man.
"This man is so ugly,
that no one can bear to look upon his face without shrieking and fainting
dead away. So, in the interests of safety, we've covered him up with a
sheet so all of you in the audience won't need to go to the emergency
room."
At this point, the rest
of the den brings out Ugly (another one of the cubs), draped in a sheet
like a ghost.
Ugly stands in front of
the pack with his back to it. The MC says, "To demonstrate how ugly this
man is, is there a volunteer who dares to try to look upon his face?"
The den members all raise
their hands and ask to do it. The MC picks one, who walks in front of
Ugly. Another cub raises the sheet--and of course, the victim screams
and faints. The louder the scream and the quicker the collapse, the better.
"Is there another volunteer?"
the MC asks. And so on, until all the boys in the den have taken their
turn screaming and fainting. By this time, there should be a pile of cubs
laying on the floor in front of Ugly.
The MC says, "Well, I
see that no cub can take it. Is there an adult who would like to volunteer?
How about our Cubmaster? Mr. Farnham, are you brave enough?"
Me (or any other adult
leader): "No, I don't dare. I've seen what's happened to you all."
After much cajoling, the
adult agrees to come up and try. He walks up in front of the world's ugliest
man, the sheet is raised, and--
The world's ugliest man
screams and faints!
This is a great skit,
guaranteed to get a huge laugh. The boys have a blast doing it, and the
parents like it too.
-- Thanks to Pete Farnham,
Cub Roundtable Staff, GW District, NCAC, Alexandria, VA
(Three tired looking hikers
enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)
Hiker 1: (groans) What
a day.
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving!
(First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).
For this skit, you need
a character from a known skit -- one that was done previous to this one
during the campfire, for instance. It doesn't matter who it is or what he's
doing, as long as he's immediately recognizable, and of course you use the
punch line, "(Looks around; in normal voice,) Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong
skit!"
Cast: Announcer, Peanuts
Setting: Stage
Announcer: Ladies and
Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth! Tonight's
show will include ....
Peanuts: (Stumbles in
with ripped shirt, backwards pants, beat up, in cuckoo voice.) Judge!
I like to smash Peanuts with a hammer ... (Looks around; in normal voice,)
Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong skit!
An easy 2-person skit to
place in those loose moments.
Cast: Person on the phone,
Friend
Setting: Living Room
Person: (Phone rings,
picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't
say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye!
Friend: Say, who was on
the phone?
Person: He didn't say!
Cast: Person, 3 Tie Salesmen,
Maitre d'
Setting: Desert
Person: (Gasping) Water!
I need water!
#1: Sir! Would you like
to buy a tie? This one would look so good on you!
Person: I want water,
not a tie!
#2: (After a pause) Sir!
We're having a tie sale. Would you like to buy a nice tie for a great
price?
Person: I'm dying of thirst,
and you want to sell me a tie?
#3: (After a pause) Sir!
I have these fine silk ties at reasonable prices. Would you care to look
at my stock?
Person: Sheesh! What kind
of people sell ties in the middle of the desert to thirsty people? (After
a pause; looks to the distance) An oasis! I'm saved! (Scrambles over.)
Sir! Please! I would like to buy a glass of water!
Maitre d': I'm sorry Sir,
but you can't enter this restaurant without a tie.
An ingenious one, usually
only good at summer camp. Modify as necessary, (or as possible) depending
on applicable rules.
Cast: Mean Pirate Captain,
6 Pirates, Lifeguard
Setting: Pirate Ship at Sea
Captain: Okay let's see
the first o' you. Which rule did you break?
#1: I... I... I ran around in the dining hall when I should have been
sitting down!
Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
#2: I pushed into the canteen line, Sir!
Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
#3: I wasn't quiet when the sign was up!
Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
#4: I was talking after bedtime!
Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
#5: I wasn't listening during badge work!
Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
#6: I was playing with the campfire!
Captain: Walk the plank!
Lifeguard comes out.
Lifeguard: Okay guys, BUDDY UP AND NO TALKING!
One day Scouter Kent ( camp
chief ) and Scouter Jason ( assistant camp director ) decide to get away
from it all and move to the Yukon. The story goes , they sell everything
and pack up for a long trip to the Yukon by canoe (get in and row) finally
arriving in a sheltered valley they decide that this is the place for them.
Kent: "nice place , lets
build a log cabin"
Jason: Yeah.
So they build a cabin
after all that work, they have a nice log cabin to survive the harsh weather
of the north. Now fall is at the door.
Kent: "Winter is coming
and we need to cut firewood"
Jason: "Yeah".
So they start cutting
wood with ax and saw -- cut and saw and saw and cut 5 cords, 10 cords,
15 cords (neatly piled as good scouts know how).
Kent: "Hey Jason think
we have enough for the winter?"
Jason: "Yeah, I don't
know"
Kent ":I heard that there
is an old Indian on top the mountain that can tell what winter is like
here. Lets go and see him".
Jason: "Yeah, OK".
So they pack up and start
the long trek to the top of the mountain, through the woods. (Demonstrate
going through rivers, mud, climbing a cliff, rain, encountering bears,
mountain lions, cats, chickens (wild variety demonstrate the trip). They
finally arrive at the top of the mountain where they find an old Indian
sitting on a rock.
Kent, going up to the
Indian and says, "Oh Great One I was told that you can tell us how the
winter will be. Please help us. We are from the south and we had warm
winters and oil heaters!"
Jason: "Yeah"
The Indian gets up and
goes to the edge of the mountain, looks around putting his hand to his
brow looks straight in front of him and says, "Cold winter, long winter.
He goes back to his rock.
Kent: "Thank you wise
Indian"
Jason:" Yeah , thanks".
So they turn back to their
cabin. (Demonstrate trek in reverse).
Kent: "I do not think
that we have enough wood for the winter let's cut more."
Jason: "Yeah , yeah"
So for the next two weeks
, they cut wood -- 20 more cords. Now they had 35 cords and the snow started
falling in the valley and it was cold.
Kent: "Now we have 35
cords, this should be good for winter".
Jason: Yeah
Kent: "We should go and
see the Indian to ask him how the winter will be."
Jason: "Yeah"
REPEAT THE TREK to find
the Indian on his rock on the top of the mountain.
Kent: "Oh Great One how
will the winter be?"
The Indian gets up goes
to the edge of the mountain looks around puts both hands to his brow and
says: "Cold winter , cold winter, long winter!"
Jason: "Oh yeah"
Kent: "Thank you Great
One."
So back to camp they go.
Snow is falling more and more now it is November. Again they cut wood
, day and night now they have cut 25 more cords 60 cords in all.
Kent: "I think this should
be plenty for the winter. But we should see the Indian to be safe."
Jason: "Yeah" (Jason should
be getting a laugh by now)
So again they trek up
the mountain for the third time. (Demonstrate trek again) All tired and
sore from their encounters, finally, 5 days later, they got to top of
the mountain where the old Indian covered with snow sitting on his rock
as usual.
Kent: "Oh Great One ,
tell us one more time what will the winter be like?"
Jason: "Yeah."
Again the Indian gets
up goes to the edge of the mountain and putting his hand to his brow and
says: "Big winter , very big winter."
Kent: "Oh Great One tell
me how you know this. Is it because of the mountains the animals? I want
to learn how to read signs of nature".
Jason: "Yeah"
The Indian turning to
Scouters Kent and Jason he says, "Easy I look down in the valley and from
here, I can see two white men cutting and piling wood like crazy!"
This skit was performed at
S-F Scout Ranch at the Famous Eagle Camp during the summer of 1994.
1st boy walks in and draws
an imaginary circle on the ground and start to jump up and down on the
circle yelling "49...49...49...49"
2nd boy walks in looking
puzzled. He comes up to the 1st boy and says "What are you doing??"
1st boy avoids talking
to the 2nd boy a couple of times then he stops and tells the other boy
he is jumping up and down and yelling 49...49...
2nd boy asks if he can
do it.
1st boy say "Sure."
2nd Boy jumps up and down
a couple of times while yelling "49...49..." until the 1st boy pulls the
imaginary circle out from underneath the 2nd boy. He then places the imaginary
circle to the side a bit and starts jumping up and down yelling "50...50...50..."
Version 2:
Cast: Jumper, bystander
Setting: City Street
A person is jumping on
up and down, yelling 49! 49! 49! The second person comes by and notices
this; he asks what hes doing.
Victim: What are you doing?
Jumper: I'm jumping up and down on this manhole yelling 49! 49! 49! It's
really fun! Wanna try?
Victim: Sure! (He takes the jumper's place and yells 49! 49! 49! All of
a sudden, the jumper pulls the manhole cover out from under the victim,
who falls into the sewer.)
Jumper: 50! 50! 50!
Cast: Don, Mrs. G., Mr. G.,
Suzanne, Gary, Friend
Setting: Don is telling his friend a story about his strange friends.
Don: You know, in my friends'
house, they have four floors. And each member of the family occupies a
floor. The other day, for instance, I went to the kitchen on the first
floor, and Mrs. G. was making a roast. I told her, "Mrs. G., you should
bake it at 375 degrees." But she told me,
Mrs. G.: (Slaps him in
face) Don, you're not making this roast. Keep quiet.
Don: Then I went to the
second floor. Mr. G. was working on his model airplane. I said, "Mr. G.,
you should paint this part red." He told me,
Mr. G.: (Slaps him in
face) Don, you're not making this plane. Keep quiet.
Don: Then I went to the
third floor. Suzanne was doing on her hair. I said, "Suzanne, you should
use some mousse." She spun around, really annoyed, and tells me,
Suzanne: (Slaps him in
face) Don, it's not your hair. Keep quiet.
Don: I was losing my nerve,
but I went to the fourth floor anyway. Gary was doing his homework. I
suggested, "If you type it out, it'll look better and you'll get a better
grade." He got really angry and told me,
Gary: (Slaps him in face)
Don, it's not your report. Keep quiet.
Teller: Finally, I figured
I'd go to the fifth floor and ...
Friend: But wait a minute.
You said there were only four floors!
Teller: (Slaps him in
the face) Keep quiet! This is my skit!
A 2-person skit that only
requires a length of rope.
Cast: 2 People on the
phone, up to seven Victims, rope
Each person is holding
the rope at either end, and talking on the telephone
Person 1: I went fishing
the other day!
2: Can't hear you!
1: Said I went fishing the other day!
2: Can't hear you! Maybe the phone company needs more telephone poles!
Get a couple of victims
to hold the rope up in the middle.
1: That better?
2: A little! Try again.
1: Went fishing the other day!
2: Really? Is it a good sushi bar?
1: No! I went fishing! Maybe they need more poles!
Get a couple more victims
to help hold the rope up.
1: As I was saying, the
spot I was at wasn't great!
2: No, still can't hear you. Did you say you got grapes?
1: Hold on a minute.
Get another couple of
poles.
1: I said that I went
fishing and my luck wasn't too good!
2: That's better! Still a little interference, but you say you hit a puck?
I think one more pole will help greatly.
Get one more pole.
2: Perfect!
1: Gee! The phones today. Anyway, I went fishing the other day.
2: Oh? And how did you do? Any bites?
1: Not good. But today, I did get 7 jerks on the line!
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