The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- W through Z

Table of Contents

  • What a Day
  • The Wrong Skit You Don't Say!
  • You Need a Tie, Sir
  • You've Broken the Rules!
  • Yukon Winter
  • 49...49...49
  • The 5th Floor
  • 7 Jerks on the Line
  • The Wall

    Ideal for a six or patrol, this skit calls for three or four members standing close together, backs to audience, as the wall; one to play an employee leaning against the wall; and one to play the boss. The scene opens with the employee leaning against the wall. The boss walks in, looking at some papers, sees the idle employee, stops.

    Boss: You there! What's your name?

    Employee: Billy Bob, sir.

    Boss: Well, what do you think you're doing, leaning against that wall like you're holding it up.

    Employee: But, I am holding it up, sir.

    (Boss splutters angrily, tells the employee what a useless, good-for-nothing he is. Employee protests, but in vain.)

    Boss: You're fired! Get out!

    (The employee edges out along the wall, still trying to protest. The boss turns to audience: the wall creaks.)

    Boss: Imagine! That lazy son-of-a-gun trying to tell me he was holding up....

    (The wall noisily falls on the boss, who collapses under it with a scream.)

    The Waiter

    Three Scouts are seated in a restaurant. A waiter approaches them.

    Waiter : What'll you have?

    Scout 1: I'll have a tuna on rye.

    Waiter : Why tuna? Salmon's much better. And have it on whole wheat, it's healthier.
    Scout 1: Okay, okay. Make it salmon on whole wheat. Waiter : And you?
    Scout 2: I'll have bacon and tomato on toast. And coffee.
    Waiter : Bacon's not good for you. And coffee strains your heart. Have a nice roast beef sandwich and a cup of tea.
    Scout 2: Okay, make it a roast beef sandwich and tea.
    Waiter : How about you?
    Scout 3: What do you suggest?
    Waiter : Who has time to make suggestions?

    Waiter!

    Cast: Waiter, Customers
    Setting: Restaurant

    Customer 1: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

    Waiter: Shh! Everyone else will want one!

    Same line continues on with other customers about a fly being in alphabet soup (He's learning to read!) What's this fly doing in my soup? (The backstroke, Sir!) There's a fly in my soup! (Pass him a life preserver!) I just took a fly out of my soup. What do you think you should do? (Give First Aid!) Finally:

    Last Customer: Waiter, did you know that there's a fly in my ice cream, too?

    Waiter: No! I didn't know they were into winter sports!

    The Waiting Room

    Seen at a Vacation Bible School Summer Camp. You need six chairs together, and one for the secretary. The scene is a doctor's office.

    The first person comes in. His shoulder twitches once every 3 seconds. Secretary: "Please take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly."

    The second guy comes in. One eye twitches once a second. Secretary: "Please take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly." He takes a seat, and after about 5 seconds, his shoulder starts twitching too, and the first guy's eye starts twitching. The secretary doesn't get any symptoms.

    The third guy has the hiccups. Now everyone catches the hiccups, and the third guy gets the two twitches.

    The fourth guy sneezes. The fifth guy's legs wobble. The sixth guy occasionally shakes all over.

    Wait a bit, with all the patients doing all the symptoms.

    A scout comes in with a beach ball under his shirt, like he's pregnant, and all the patients run out screaming. The pregnant scout and secretary watch, wondering what's wrong with them.

    "Where's the maternity ward?" Secretary: "Oh, you're in the wrong office, that's two floors up."

    Washington's Farewell

    It is announced that a member of the troop has memorized Washington's Farewell Address and is about to do a dramatic portrayal of it. A boy emerges dressed as Washington and delivers his farewell address, "Bye Mom!"

    Water, Water!

    A man, crawling across the stage: "Water, water!!" Someone walks by, and the crawling man tugs on his pant leg. "Water, Water!"

    Man walking by: "Sorry." He continues walking.

    Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"

    Man walking by: "All I've got is this beef jerky, sorry." He keeps walking.

    Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"

    Man walking by: "No, I don't have any." He keeps walking.

    The crawling man sees a cup of water at the other end of the stage. "Water!!" He painfully crawls over there. "Water! Water!"

    When he reaches the water, he quickly stands up, dunks his comb in it, and uses it to comb his hair.

    We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm

    One of those repetitive jokes. Difference is, you do the skit to a beat, and everyone bends their knees in sync (or tries to.) Successful or not, the knee bending (and attempts to keep in sync) alone makes it hilarious.

    Cast: Ma, Pa, Bro, Sis, Cousin Joe, Auntie Mae, Gramps, Mr. Bankerman

    Pa: (Comes out, starts bending knees to a beat, and says to the beat) Hiya, Folks! I'm Pa (people can respond ... repeat if desired.) Well, we ain't got the money for the mortgage on the farm. Boo, Hoo, Boo Hoo Hoo.

    Ma: (Comes out, bends knees to Pa's beat.) Hiya, Pa!

    Pa: Hiya, Ma!

    Ma: Whatsamatter, Pa?

    Pa: Well, we ain't got the money for the mortgage on the farm.

    Pa & Ma: Boo, Hoo, Boo Hoo Hoo!

    Continues with Bro coming in, saying Hiya, Ma (who responds, Hiya, Bro) to the beat, then says Hiya Pa, (Hiya, Bro) then Whatsamater Pa? who responds about the mortgage. Continue in like manner through to Gramps, each lining up beside the person before them. Continue to Mr. Bankerman, who does the same thing, but faces the line from the far side. They all go through the scene again, Hiya, Pa! Hiya, Mr. Bankerman! etc. Whatsamater, Pa? Well, we ain't .... Finally,

    Mr. Bankerman: Well, Now I got Sis (abducts Sis, who of course resists.) Ha, Ha, Ha Ha Ha!

    All of a sudden, everyone shoots at Mr. Bankerman, (Bang! Bang! Bang Bang Bang!) and he falls over dead. They continue their leg bending. Next line is tricky to a beat, but think of rap music. (What the heck is rap? You mean that garbage kids listen to?)

    All: Now we don't have to pay the mortgage on the farm! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha!

    We Hit!

    A silly repetition skit that gets the victim wet.

    Cast: 4-5 Crew members, Victim, cup of water
    Setting: Submarine

    Sit in a line just like in Veech Boton. Place your victim anywhere in the line but make sure in advance you know where so that the person before or after has the water.

    Captain: (First in line) Fire #1!

    (Goes down the line to end; make a sound of it exploding)

    Captain: We missed! We have one more try! Fire #2!

    (Goes down the line to end; make a sound of it exploding)

    Captain: We missed! We'll just have to try to outrun them! (They turn left and right and left in sync, but finally,)

    Captain: They hit us! Incoming water! (Throw water on victim.)

    The Weather Man

    This is performed on a stage. Hang a large map, or a sheet with some outlines drawn on it, across the back of the stage. Since the skit involves water, it is a good idea to use a waterproof ground cloth to protect the stage.

    Plan the skit, assemble the materials, and assign responsibilities ahead of time. Everybody except the Scapegoat knows what will happen. Let the Scouts decide what kind of weather to use, and what props are needed to represent it.

    The Skit

    The Weather Man stands in front of the map, and presents a parody of the television evening news report. He reads from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off-stage.

    He announces that the South will have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large fan blows the papers in his hand.

    The Weather Man reports that there will be snow in the North. White confetti drops from the sky, or over the map. He reports hail in the Midwest, and small white objects pelt him. (Plastic packing makes good hail.)

    Each time the weather reacts to his report, the Weather Man acts more scared. Finally, he turns the page, stops, and protests that he can't do this any more. He needs a brave person to read the last forecast for him, and asks for a volunteer from the audience. With the help of the audience, the 'volunteer' is selected and pushed forward.

    The Scapegoat is handed the script, and reads, "And tomorrow this area will have heavy rains." Instantly, he is hit by a bucket of water from offstage.

    Variation

    The Weather Man and the Scapegoat will clearly expect something. In fact, the Weather Man will usually have a hard time hiding his anticipation. Without warning him about the actual outcome, get him wet instead of the Scapegoat.

    Another Variation:

    Hang or hold up a large map, or a sheet with some outlines of states on it. The scouts should decided on the weather and the props in advance. The Weatherman stands in from of the map and presents a weather report, (like on TV) He reads from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off stage. He announces that the South will have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large wind blows (be creative). The Weather man reports there will be snow in the North. White confetti falls from the sky over the weatherman. He reports hail in the midwest and white objects pelt him. The weatherman acts more and more scared. Finally he turns the page and stops and quits. He asks for a volunteer to take over. A volunteer is force to continue. He is handed the script which reads: TOMORROW THIS AREA WILL HAVE HEAVY RAINS, the reader is immediately drenched with buckets of water. (Variation, go ahead and drench the weatherman, especially funny if you have the scoutmaster be the weatherman and he does not know skit.)

    The Well-Trained Elephant

    Cast: Trainer, Two People to be the Elephant, blanket to cover, 4 Victims (or 3 Volunteers and one Victim; make sure elephant knows who the Victim is), cup of water

    Setting: Circus

    Trainer: Ladies and gentlemen! I would like to show you the great tricks that my trained elephant can do. For instance, he can count! Spot! Count to 5! (Spot thumps 5 times on the ground.) Now I need some volunteers to help show just how very well trained my elephant is! Please, lie down on the ground with some space between you, and the elephant will do some amazing tricks! (Leads the elephant over the people and it does very well, does not walk on them at all, goes back and forth over them.) You see, it's a very well trained elephant; it won't walk on you. (Ham it up and perhaps do a trick or two. Finally, the elephant spills the water over the victims on a certain cue.) Oh, my, I guess I forgot to toilet train it!

    What the Heck Was That?

    You can also have everyone audition for the same line or have them try out for different parts, and of course ham it up to reflect this.

    Cast: Actors, directors, Gus

    Scene: Theater

    Director: Okay! Who's next for the auditions? You? Okay! Let's hear you!

    Actor #1: I'm trying out for the part of the Unknown Soldier. (He lies down, dead.)

    Director: Don't call us, we'll call you. Next!

    Actor #2: I'm trying out for the President ordering the men into action. Men, we must unite to beat the foe and protect the people!

    Director: Very nice. We'll call your agent. Next!

    Actor #3: I'm trying out for the part of the dying soldier. (He dies a very painful, emotional death.)

    Director: Sorry! Try out for the next movie. OK! Let's wrap it up!

    Gus comes running in.

    Gus: Oh please, Sir, I really would like a part in your play! I really need a break! Just a small part, Pleeeeeease, Pretty Please, with sugar on top?

    Director: Fine. All you have to do is call out "Oh my Gosh, it's a cannon!" when you hear a loud boom. Take a moment to practice while we load it up.

    Gus practices the line with several different voices, poses, etc.

    Director: OK, let's get a move on! I want to leave!

    (Loud boom from backstage.)

    Gus: What the heck was that?!?!?!?

    What Time is it?

    Three Scouts walk onto the stage, two of them carrying logs. The two carrying logs sit down and begin pounding the stage with them, making an incredible racket. They pause, and the third Scout announces, "How cave men tell time". The first two Scouts begin pounding again.

    A voice from off stage yells, "HEY! CUT IT OUT, IT'S TWO A.M."

    The cave men pick up their logs and exit all.

    -- Thanks to The Leader Magazine, November 1992

    What's the Problem?

    As cute as it is, it really only is a skeleton. Maybe you could use it as a gag to either place in the order as with any other skit, or get the campfire chief involved, so that when he calls up the group, you can make it look like they really don't have a skit. You know, call them up, have one person start to cry, another, and at the appointed time, have the chief ask, "Let's get a move on. Get your skit moving! We're having a campfire here." "But we don't have a skit!"

    Cast: Leader, three or four Kids, Campfire Chief (in campfire blanket)
    Setting: Tent Area

    Swasin: (Crying on stage)
    Kid 1: (Sees leader; goes to him.) Swasin! What's the problem?
    Swasin: (Whispers in kid's ear.)
    #1 begins to cry too.
    #2: Hey! What's the problem?
    #1 whispers in #2's ear, and he starts crying too. Continue with #3 and #4.
    Finally, Campfire Chief comes around.
    Chief: Hi! I've come around to collect skit names for the campfire tonight!
    Hey! What's the problem?
    All: We don't have a skit!

    What's 2+2?

    Again, one of those pirate theme skits that can be easily modified (such as it being the boss to employees.)

    Cast: Captain, three or four Pirates
    Setting: On the Bridge (Or Deck of a Ship)

    Captain: First Mate! What's 2+2?
    1st Mate: Duh! One, Sir!
    Captain: Good! Bosun! What's 2+2?
    Bosun: Uhh ... let's see ... (Counts on fingers) Uhh ... Five, Sir!
    Captain: No problem! Gunner! What's 2+2?
    Gunner: Sheesh, Captain! Why give me all the hard ones?
    Captain: Great! Cook! What's 2+2?
    Cook: Let's see. Two apples and two potatoes makes ... (Thinks) Two apples and two potatoes, Sir!
    Captain: Pleased to hear it! You! Floor Scrubber! What's 2+2?
    Scrubber: Four, Sir!
    Captain: Off with his head! (Cuts off head with sword.)
    Servant: Beggin' the Captain's pardon, Sir! I think everyone else got it wrong, but the floor scrubber got it right. Why did you kill him?
    Captain: He's too smart! He might go after my job some day!

    Who Sneezed?

    One boy plays sergeant and the rest line up in a row facing the audience. The sergeant tells them to come to attention for inspection. The last boy in line sneezes. The sergeant asks who sneezed and doesn't get an answer. He asks the man who sneezed to step forward in a threatening and commanding tone. The sergeant asks the first boy if he sneezed and he denies it. The sergeant shoots him. The next boy in line is asked if he sneezed and he replies, "Not since I was 10 years old." The sergeant shoots him. Each boy has a different answer as to why he didn't sneeze and the sergeant shoots each one until the last boy is reached. This boy really worried and shaking, admits that he sneezed but pleads to the sergeant not to shoot him. The sergeant says that he isn't going to shoot him but just wanted to say GESUNDHEIT !

    Why Are You Late?

    Known as "Mounted Scouts" in the Leader Magazine.

    Once modified this to fit a space theme. You got it -- no changes to the plot or the joke, just to a few details like a space ship, a 6-legged Aldabian glop, and a rented air coaster which all broke down.

    Cast: Boss, 4 Workers
    Setting: Office

    Boss: Why are you late?

    #1: (Rushing into work, breathless.) Sorry I'm late, Boss. My car broke down, so I took the bus. But the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down, too. Fortunately, I was near a Caläche so I borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed. I had to jog the rest of the way!

    #2 & 3 come in late with exactly the same excuse. The boss becomes a little bit more exasperated each time, until #4 finally comes in, late of course.

    Boss: Why are you late? No, wait. Let me guess. Your car broke down, so you took the bus. But the bus driver hit a tree, so you took a cab. And it broke down too. Fortunately, you were near a Caläche and so you borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so you had to jog the rest of the way, right?

    #4: No boss, you got it all wrong! The streets were so crowded with broken down cars, buses and cabs, trees, dead horses, and worst of all some crazy joggers that I couldn't get through!

    Worlds Greatest Pitcher

    You need a screen (white sheet), Flashlight (bright) and a sick (size of a baseball bat).

    The announcer introduces the worlds greatest pitcher, elaborate on how great he is. No one has hit him in the last 100 games, (at least with a ball) etc. Get volunteers (4). Have pitcher throw his pitches: (For fun give each volunteer a stick and rubber knife and instruct to make a baseball bat)

    Announce each pitch in advance and watch pitcher throw, followed by light on the screen as the ball advances toward the batter.

    1. Fast Ball - Light goes fast across sheet from the back side)

    2. Slider- Light slopes down across sheet from back side)

    3. Curve Ball - light goes crazy

    Each volunteer only gets one pitch. Of Course since no ball is actually thrown, and they can't hit the light so they stand there looking foolish.

    The final pitch, the Greatest Ever Spit Ball. Really ham it up. You announce the World's Greatest Spit Ball. As soon as the Pitcher throws the ball you scream, "Look Out Its Out of Control", followed by a bucket of water being thrown upon someone: Your choice, the announcer, pitcher, or batter!

    If you are going to get the batter, let the pitcher throw each pitch and announce it as you see it on the screen. The final pitch of course is "Oh no its a spit ball!"

    The World's Greatest Spitter

    The world's greatest spitter is bragging and demonstrating on how well he can spit. He has an assistant, who has an empty pail. When the assistant catches the spit, he thwacks the bottom of the pail with his fingers to make it go ping.

    First, do the world's highest spit. Spit up.

    Next, do the world's fastest spit. Ping the pail at the same time as he spits.

    Next, do the world's slowest spit. Spit in slow motion, wait a while, look at your watch, then catch it. Ping.

    Catch the world's highest spit. (Someone objects. Explain it traveled further than the slowest spit.)

    Next, prepare yourself, do the world's biggest spit. Hock for a while. Do it behind a sheet. Someone objects. The world's greatest spitter grabs the pail (now a different pail, actually, filled with water) and throws the water at him to demonstrate how big the spit was.

    -- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

    The World's Ugliest Man

    A scout gets up and says, "Tonight, Den ___ is going to present to you a rare public showing of The World's Ugliest Man.

    "This man is so ugly, that no one can bear to look upon his face without shrieking and fainting dead away. So, in the interests of safety, we've covered him up with a sheet so all of you in the audience won't need to go to the emergency room."

    At this point, the rest of the den brings out Ugly (another one of the cubs), draped in a sheet like a ghost.

    Ugly stands in front of the pack with his back to it. The MC says, "To demonstrate how ugly this man is, is there a volunteer who dares to try to look upon his face?"

    The den members all raise their hands and ask to do it. The MC picks one, who walks in front of Ugly. Another cub raises the sheet--and of course, the victim screams and faints. The louder the scream and the quicker the collapse, the better.

    "Is there another volunteer?" the MC asks. And so on, until all the boys in the den have taken their turn screaming and fainting. By this time, there should be a pile of cubs laying on the floor in front of Ugly.

    The MC says, "Well, I see that no cub can take it. Is there an adult who would like to volunteer? How about our Cubmaster? Mr. Farnham, are you brave enough?"

    Me (or any other adult leader): "No, I don't dare. I've seen what's happened to you all."

    After much cajoling, the adult agrees to come up and try. He walks up in front of the world's ugliest man, the sheet is raised, and--

    The world's ugliest man screams and faints!

    This is a great skit, guaranteed to get a huge laugh. The boys have a blast doing it, and the parents like it too.

    -- Thanks to Pete Farnham, Cub Roundtable Staff, GW District, NCAC, Alexandria, VA

    What a Day

    (Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)

    Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.
    Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
    Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
    Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving!
    (First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

    The Wrong Skit

    For this skit, you need a character from a known skit -- one that was done previous to this one during the campfire, for instance. It doesn't matter who it is or what he's doing, as long as he's immediately recognizable, and of course you use the punch line, "(Looks around; in normal voice,) Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong skit!"

    Cast: Announcer, Peanuts
    Setting: Stage

    Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth! Tonight's show will include ....

    Peanuts: (Stumbles in with ripped shirt, backwards pants, beat up, in cuckoo voice.) Judge! I like to smash Peanuts with a hammer ... (Looks around; in normal voice,) Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong skit!

    You Don't Say!

    An easy 2-person skit to place in those loose moments.

    Cast: Person on the phone, Friend
    Setting: Living Room

    Person: (Phone rings, picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye!

    Friend: Say, who was on the phone?

    Person: He didn't say!

    You Need a Tie, Sir

    Cast: Person, 3 Tie Salesmen, Maitre d'
    Setting: Desert

    Person: (Gasping) Water! I need water!

    #1: Sir! Would you like to buy a tie? This one would look so good on you!

    Person: I want water, not a tie!

    #2: (After a pause) Sir! We're having a tie sale. Would you like to buy a nice tie for a great price?

    Person: I'm dying of thirst, and you want to sell me a tie?

    #3: (After a pause) Sir! I have these fine silk ties at reasonable prices. Would you care to look at my stock?

    Person: Sheesh! What kind of people sell ties in the middle of the desert to thirsty people? (After a pause; looks to the distance) An oasis! I'm saved! (Scrambles over.) Sir! Please! I would like to buy a glass of water!

    Maitre d': I'm sorry Sir, but you can't enter this restaurant without a tie.

    You've Broken the Rules!

    An ingenious one, usually only good at summer camp. Modify as necessary, (or as possible) depending on applicable rules.

    Cast: Mean Pirate Captain, 6 Pirates, Lifeguard
    Setting: Pirate Ship at Sea

    Captain: Okay let's see the first o' you. Which rule did you break?
    #1: I... I... I ran around in the dining hall when I should have been sitting down!
    Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
    #2: I pushed into the canteen line, Sir!
    Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
    #3: I wasn't quiet when the sign was up!
    Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
    #4: I was talking after bedtime!
    Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
    #5: I wasn't listening during badge work!
    Captain: Walk the plank! And you?
    #6: I was playing with the campfire!
    Captain: Walk the plank!
    Lifeguard comes out.
    Lifeguard: Okay guys, BUDDY UP AND NO TALKING!

    Yukon Winter

    One day Scouter Kent ( camp chief ) and Scouter Jason ( assistant camp director ) decide to get away from it all and move to the Yukon. The story goes , they sell everything and pack up for a long trip to the Yukon by canoe (get in and row) finally arriving in a sheltered valley they decide that this is the place for them.

    Kent: "nice place , lets build a log cabin"

    Jason: Yeah.

    So they build a cabin after all that work, they have a nice log cabin to survive the harsh weather of the north. Now fall is at the door.

    Kent: "Winter is coming and we need to cut firewood"

    Jason: "Yeah".

    So they start cutting wood with ax and saw -- cut and saw and saw and cut 5 cords, 10 cords, 15 cords (neatly piled as good scouts know how).

    Kent: "Hey Jason think we have enough for the winter?"

    Jason: "Yeah, I don't know"

    Kent ":I heard that there is an old Indian on top the mountain that can tell what winter is like here. Lets go and see him".

    Jason: "Yeah, OK".

    So they pack up and start the long trek to the top of the mountain, through the woods. (Demonstrate going through rivers, mud, climbing a cliff, rain, encountering bears, mountain lions, cats, chickens (wild variety demonstrate the trip). They finally arrive at the top of the mountain where they find an old Indian sitting on a rock.

    Kent, going up to the Indian and says, "Oh Great One I was told that you can tell us how the winter will be. Please help us. We are from the south and we had warm winters and oil heaters!"

    Jason: "Yeah"

    The Indian gets up and goes to the edge of the mountain, looks around putting his hand to his brow looks straight in front of him and says, "Cold winter, long winter. He goes back to his rock.

    Kent: "Thank you wise Indian"

    Jason:" Yeah , thanks".

    So they turn back to their cabin. (Demonstrate trek in reverse).

    Kent: "I do not think that we have enough wood for the winter let's cut more."

    Jason: "Yeah , yeah"

    So for the next two weeks , they cut wood -- 20 more cords. Now they had 35 cords and the snow started falling in the valley and it was cold.

    Kent: "Now we have 35 cords, this should be good for winter".

    Jason: Yeah

    Kent: "We should go and see the Indian to ask him how the winter will be."

    Jason: "Yeah"

    REPEAT THE TREK to find the Indian on his rock on the top of the mountain.

    Kent: "Oh Great One how will the winter be?"

    The Indian gets up goes to the edge of the mountain looks around puts both hands to his brow and says: "Cold winter , cold winter, long winter!"

    Jason: "Oh yeah"

    Kent: "Thank you Great One."

    So back to camp they go. Snow is falling more and more now it is November. Again they cut wood , day and night now they have cut 25 more cords 60 cords in all.

    Kent: "I think this should be plenty for the winter. But we should see the Indian to be safe."

    Jason: "Yeah" (Jason should be getting a laugh by now)

    So again they trek up the mountain for the third time. (Demonstrate trek again) All tired and sore from their encounters, finally, 5 days later, they got to top of the mountain where the old Indian covered with snow sitting on his rock as usual.

    Kent: "Oh Great One , tell us one more time what will the winter be like?"

    Jason: "Yeah."

    Again the Indian gets up goes to the edge of the mountain and putting his hand to his brow and says: "Big winter , very big winter."

    Kent: "Oh Great One tell me how you know this. Is it because of the mountains the animals? I want to learn how to read signs of nature".

    Jason: "Yeah"

    The Indian turning to Scouters Kent and Jason he says, "Easy I look down in the valley and from here, I can see two white men cutting and piling wood like crazy!"

    49...49...49

    This skit was performed at S-F Scout Ranch at the Famous Eagle Camp during the summer of 1994.

    1st boy walks in and draws an imaginary circle on the ground and start to jump up and down on the circle yelling "49...49...49...49"

    2nd boy walks in looking puzzled. He comes up to the 1st boy and says "What are you doing??"

    1st boy avoids talking to the 2nd boy a couple of times then he stops and tells the other boy he is jumping up and down and yelling 49...49...

    2nd boy asks if he can do it.

    1st boy say "Sure."

    2nd Boy jumps up and down a couple of times while yelling "49...49..." until the 1st boy pulls the imaginary circle out from underneath the 2nd boy. He then places the imaginary circle to the side a bit and starts jumping up and down yelling "50...50...50..."

    Version 2:
    Cast: Jumper, bystander
    Setting: City Street

    A person is jumping on up and down, yelling 49! 49! 49! The second person comes by and notices this; he asks what hes doing.

    Victim: What are you doing?
    Jumper: I'm jumping up and down on this manhole yelling 49! 49! 49! It's really fun! Wanna try?
    Victim: Sure! (He takes the jumper's place and yells 49! 49! 49! All of a sudden, the jumper pulls the manhole cover out from under the victim, who falls into the sewer.)
    Jumper: 50! 50! 50!

    The 5th Floor

    Cast: Don, Mrs. G., Mr. G., Suzanne, Gary, Friend
    Setting: Don is telling his friend a story about his strange friends.

    Don: You know, in my friends' house, they have four floors. And each member of the family occupies a floor. The other day, for instance, I went to the kitchen on the first floor, and Mrs. G. was making a roast. I told her, "Mrs. G., you should bake it at 375 degrees." But she told me,

    Mrs. G.: (Slaps him in face) Don, you're not making this roast. Keep quiet.

    Don: Then I went to the second floor. Mr. G. was working on his model airplane. I said, "Mr. G., you should paint this part red." He told me,

    Mr. G.: (Slaps him in face) Don, you're not making this plane. Keep quiet.

    Don: Then I went to the third floor. Suzanne was doing on her hair. I said, "Suzanne, you should use some mousse." She spun around, really annoyed, and tells me,

    Suzanne: (Slaps him in face) Don, it's not your hair. Keep quiet.

    Don: I was losing my nerve, but I went to the fourth floor anyway. Gary was doing his homework. I suggested, "If you type it out, it'll look better and you'll get a better grade." He got really angry and told me,

    Gary: (Slaps him in face) Don, it's not your report. Keep quiet.

    Teller: Finally, I figured I'd go to the fifth floor and ...

    Friend: But wait a minute. You said there were only four floors!

    Teller: (Slaps him in the face) Keep quiet! This is my skit!

    7 Jerks on the Line

    A 2-person skit that only requires a length of rope.

    Cast: 2 People on the phone, up to seven Victims, rope

    Each person is holding the rope at either end, and talking on the telephone

    Person 1: I went fishing the other day!
    2: Can't hear you!
    1: Said I went fishing the other day!
    2: Can't hear you! Maybe the phone company needs more telephone poles!

    Get a couple of victims to hold the rope up in the middle.

    1: That better?
    2: A little! Try again.
    1: Went fishing the other day!
    2: Really? Is it a good sushi bar?
    1: No! I went fishing! Maybe they need more poles!

    Get a couple more victims to help hold the rope up.

    1: As I was saying, the spot I was at wasn't great!
    2: No, still can't hear you. Did you say you got grapes?
    1: Hold on a minute.

    Get another couple of poles.

    1: I said that I went fishing and my luck wasn't too good!
    2: That's better! Still a little interference, but you say you hit a puck? I think one more pole will help greatly.

    Get one more pole.

    2: Perfect!
    1: Gee! The phones today. Anyway, I went fishing the other day.
    2: Oh? And how did you do? Any bites?
    1: Not good. But today, I did get 7 jerks on the line!


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