The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- F through G
"I'm a reporter. I have
been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop.
Never. I'm a failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going
to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ..."
"Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping?"
"I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop."
"Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemorrhoids.
I think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you all doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Oh, I'm
a grade school teacher. I just realized that I can't stand whiney
little kids. I think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Well I'm
a florist, and I've got hay fever." sneeze! "I think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "I'm a dentist,
hic and I've had the hiccups for the last hic five years. Would you
like a tooth removed hic?" He holds one of those pointy dentist things,
and each time he hics his hands jerk around "No!" "Then I think I'll
hic join you."
"One! Two! Three!!!" They all jump, except for the reporter.
"Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop!" He runs offstage,
scribbling furiously on his notepad.
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
You need two players
and a behind-scenes person to move the fire (an artificial campfire
with invisible strings attached).
The players sit by
the fire, reading, doing a puzzle, etc. The fire moves slightly.
They don't notice. It moves again; they don't notice. This continues
until, finally, the fire is pulled off stage. At that point, one
of the players looks at the other and says, "Looks like the fire's
gone out again!"
-- Thanks to Scouting
(UK) magazine
When we entered the campfire
theater the first four scouts walked in with large cans filled only
with torn up news paper. The Staff immediately noticed and gave us
their attention. One or two came over to see what was up. We let them
examine the cans and they found only paper. As everyone was seated,
the leaders delivered additional cans, these had water balloons covered
with paper. I even threw some paper in the air as we delivered the
cans. During the other skits, I sat down with staff carrying a dummy
can and left it there. Now for the skit:
Have four volunteers
stand across from each other with arms on shoulders making a square.
The Next four volunteers bend over with their rears pushed out and
their arms around the waist of the four who are standing. The Next
four get behind the knees of the four bent over, on all fours. The
announcer continues to talk about fire lays and the importance of
building a great fire lay. Ham this up and joke about the funny
logs the scouts have brought for the fire lay. With everything in
place, the announcer reminds all of fire safety and that you must
always put out the fire when you are finished. ( at this point the
senior staff member was heard assuring the others, no fear, its
only paper)The Staff was then properly "put out"! It was a great
sales job, and worked so well.
Best skit and
Best con at summer camp.--
-- Thanks to Merl
Whitebook, Troop 1, Tulsa, Okla.
A firing squad lines
up with a prisoner. The leader of the firing squad calls out "Ready
... Aim ..." The prisoner shouts, "Tornado!" The soldiers all run
for cover and the prisoner escapes. A Second prisoner is brought out,
the leader calls out "Ready ... Aim ..>" and the prisoner shouts,
"Landslide!", the firing squad runs for cover and the prisoner escapes
again. Repeat this for other natural disasters. The last prisoner
is brought out and having seen the other prisoners escape decides
to do the same thing except he yells "Fire" and the firing squad does.
Probably taken from
"You Can't Do That on Television."
Cast: Rifle squad,
Commander, Person to be executed
Setting: Jail
Person about to executed
is standing at pole, doing a crossword puzzle.
Commander: Ready,
aim ... What are you doing?
Person: The crossword puzzle from today's New York Times. A real
tough one.
Commander: Did you know I'm about to have you executed?
Person: Sure. Here ... a four letter word meaning burning ... Hmm
... Do you have any idea?
Commander: Four letters -- burning -- (takes puzzle, walks in front
of pole, person sneaks away) -- F-I-R-E ! FIRE! It fits!
Firing squad shoots and he buckles over with one of those knowing
looks on his face.
Two people, one a fisherman
and the other a fish market manager come on stage and hold a long
cord between them. The fish market man attempts to call the fisherman
on the telephone to see if he has any fish today, the fisherman acts
as if he can't hear him. Volunteers are brought out of the audience
and hold the cord between the fish market man and the fisherman one
or two at a time with the market man attempting to call each time.
When several people are holding the line, the market man is able to
communicate with the fisherman. The fisherman says that he doesn't
have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers hanging on a line
showing the line the volunteers are holding up.
Center stage is a lad
fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though
he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks
by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to
the lad.
Passerby: "What are
you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passerby: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passerby: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"
(The scene opens with
the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)
Andrew: Whew! It
sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore.
Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.
(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start
fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch
more. Continue for several casts.)
Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. Better
get back.
Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right
here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both row away quickly)
Three guys are sitting
on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to
swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending
to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches
them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober
says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take
care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb
into his boat. The policeman ask Goober what he is doing: Goober says:
"Somebody has to row the boat" pretends to row off stage (the policeman
staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).
Five or six fishermen
sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their
lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no
luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's
doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth,
and nobody can tell what he is saying. The other fisherman get more
irritated. After each question, the fisherman catches another fish,
bigger than the last. (ham this up) The other gripe and protest. When
the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs,
spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."
Cast: 4 to 8 Cub Scouts.
Props: Fishing gear,
a small row boat or cardboard silhouette of a boat, and a sign that
says "boat dock".
Setting: The scene
starts with the boat about 10 feet away from the boat dock. The
Cub Scouts and their Den Chief are on their way to go fishing. The
first Cub stops at the dock then walks out across the water and
gets in the boat.
Boy 2: Hey wait for
me! (he walks out to the boat)
Den Chief: Oh well...
(steps into the water and pretends to fall in and drags himself
back to shore)
Boy 3: Hey wait up.
Here I come (walks out to the boat)
The Den Chief tries
and fails again. The sequence continues until all the boys are in
the boat and only the Den Chief remains on shore. Finally, one of
the Cub Scouts says: "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"
One member seems to be
wearing nothing but an overcoat in front of the campfire. As each
scout approached him, he would (with his back turned to the audience)
flash the "innocent" bystander. Each time that he flashed, the person
would either be frightened off or else roll down a hill in uncontrolled
hysterics. After his third victim he turned to the crowd and asked
"Hey what's the deal?" Revealing that he was wearing shorts with a
letter-sized photocopy of the face of the leader, camp director or
the like. Once again showing that it's not always so hot to be popular
Boys standing in a line,
first boy scratches, then second on down the line, last boy feels
it and says "Oh there you are Marvin, I've been looking all over for
you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin (boy acts as though
Marvin has hopped away) you come back here.(goes out into the audience
looking and touching people) There you are Marvin, you've got to stay
here (looks at pretend speck) Hey you aren't Marvin, (puts it back
into the audience) Oh Marvin where are you?
Characters: Ringmaster,
Cub Scouts in Uniform (any number).
RINGMASTER: Ladies
and Gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the Den _____ Flea Circus.
We will now present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches
the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we have silence,
please?
[Two Cubs stretch
a string. Third Cub places "flea" on the string. Cubs follow movement
of flea with exaggerated head movements, as it walks to the center
of the string, and turns the somersault. One boy with his mouth
open gets too close to the string and gulps as if he had swallowed
a "flea".)
FIRST CUB: [Puts
hand over mouth, gulps loudly.] I swallowed Hugo! [Begins to cry
and leaves stage.]
RINGMASTER: Err...uh...well...
On with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump
from this boy's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size
of this tiny fellow.
[Boy makes motion
of tossing "flea" into dish, then retrieves him in hand.]
RINGMASTER: Well
done, Homer. Give the little guy a big hand.
[Boy claps quickly,
forgetting Homer...looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, sobs and
runs off stage.
RINGMASTER: Too bad.
But we must compose ourselves. Our next fabulous act features Hector,
the weight lifting Flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world.
That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how small Hector
is... compare his size to the size of this rock.
[Boy puts Hector
on table, proudly points to him, flexes muscles, and points to Hector
again.]
RINGMASTER: [To boy]
Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it.
[Boy holds up rock
in one hand for audience to see... then plops rock back down on
table without looking. Looks around for Hector, picks up rock and
finds smashed Hector.]
BOY: Hector! Hector!
[Sobs, hangs head, and leaves stage.]
RINGMASTER: We seem
to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now
introduce Harry, the bare-back riding flea.
[Boy removes shirt,
then pretends to place "flea" on his bare back, then runs off stage
yelling.]
BOY: Hang on, Harry!
[Looks over shoulder while running offstage.]
RINGMASTER: [Relieved.]
He made it! And now Hiram and Hillary will perform their world famous
trapeze act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will
catch her.
[Boys hold up trapeze
made of soda straws with a string through them. Two boys each hold
one. Third boy places "flea" on trapeze and begin to swing it.]
RINGMASTER: There
they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault.
One, two, three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!
[Boys begin looking
for Hillary on the floor.]
BOY: There she is!
Points to floor near second boy.]
SECOND BOY: Where?
[Takes a step where other boy pointed.]
BOY: You just stepped
on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster]
we have another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea! [Opens
box] Oops, he got away!
[Ringmaster begins
to scratch frantically, yells help several times, and runs off stage.
(Preferably into audience. ;) )
BOYS: [Chasing him]
Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!
[Curtain]
-- From the Theodore
Roosevelt Council 1989 Powwow Book. Thanks to Chuck Bramlet, ASM
Troop 323, Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon Council, Phoenix,
Az
Cast: Performer
The performer is
putting his trained flea Flora through all her tricks, explaining
all her tricks as she does them. His eyes follow every flip, jump,
etc. as she performs and lands back in his hand. The he asks her
to jump to the ceiling. His eyes lose her and she doesn't return.
He looks high and low (perhaps with the help of a friend) but can't
find her. Finally he looks in someone's hair.
Performer: (Delighted)
Flora! There you are! I'm so glad to have you back. (looks more
closely.) But say ... this isn't Flora!
Alternate Ending
... when Flora has done all her tricks,
Performer: Let's
hear a big round of applause for Flora! (Begins to clap, then stops,
horrified, realizing what he's done.)
Customer: Waiter, waiter,
there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you
are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter : (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a
fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !
Boys on a flight to Germany
or other destination. They act up and really give the stewardess or
steward (den leader, 11 year old patrol leader etc.) a hard time.
Finally, one of them bumps into her/him and knocks a tray on him/her.
The steward/stewardess smiles and says, "Why don't you boys just run
outside and play."
Customer: Waiter, waiter,
there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter: (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you
are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a
fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !
An easy 2-person skit
if you have only one person who's thirsty.
Cast: 2 or 3 People,
cup of water, combs, Narrator
Setting: Sahara Desert
Narrator: Here are
some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the
desert for days. Let's watch.
Two or three people
are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally,
they see the cup of water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally,
they get to the water and,
People: Ahhhh! (Relieved
-- they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to comb hair.)
This is a campfire skit.
You can plan it carefully if you want. If you have a good spontaneous
actor, he might be able to ad-lib responses to each object presented
to him, without advance planning. The Announcer should always tell
the audience what object is given to the Fortune Teller, because they
usually will not be able to see clearly.
The Skit
A small tent is set
up, with an old lady sitting in front of it. This can be a Scout
wrapped up in a blanket, who speaks with an old lady's voice. An
Announcer introduces her as a very accurate teller of fortunes who
can predict a person's future by touching anything belonging to
the person.
The Announcer calls
up a series of Scouts. He asks the first Scout what he has brought,
and the Scout produces a pencil. The Announcer hands the pencil
to the Fortune Teller and asks her to tell the future of the owner.
The Fortune Teller waves her hands and mumbles some words and then
predicts that the owner will become a writer.
The scene is repeated.
A Scout produces a comb from his pocket, and the Fortune Teller
predicts that he will become a hairdresser. A third Scout has a
dollar, and she predicts that he will become a successful banker.
After several of
these, the Scapegoat is summoned from the audience. The announcer
asks what he has to show the Fortune Teller. No matter what the
Scapegoat suggests, the Announcer says it is not good enough. Either
it has been done before, or it is too easy, or "That's no fun!",
or any other reason. Finally, the Announcer suggests that the Scapegoat
try his shoe, and makes him take it off.
The shoe is handed
to the Fortuneteller, who repeats her mumbo jumbo. (If the Fortune
Teller is a good pantomime, this is a wonderful opportunity to make
faces, hold her nose, etc.) She then announces, "You will take a
long walk in the woods!" She throws the shoe far into the woods.
A person finds a four
leaf clover. He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another
person runs into him. They accuse each other of running into each
other. They start hitting each other. A policeman comes along, the
other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky person is hauled off
to jail. The lucky person reappears, disgruntled and unhappy. Garbage
is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for
littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover. Another
finds it. The former lucky man comes back on stage. The person who
found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars
and has good luck since he found it. The former lucky man slumps down,
groans, and begins to cry.
The narrator narrates,
everyone else is volunteers.
"I need eleven volunteers
for this skit."
"This skit is called
the Four Seasons. You three are trees. You three are leaves in trees,
get up in the trees. You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one
of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees. You
two are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing. And you're the babbling
brook. You have to babble."
"Babble babble babble
babble ..."
"In the spring, the
leaves come out on the trees. The birds flit from tree to tree."
"In the summer, the
leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest. The birds
form flocks"
"In the fall, the
leaves drop from the trees. The birds fly away south."
"In the winter, the
brook freezes and stops babbling. All seems still in the forest.
But beneath it all there is still life. Look! The sap is still running!"
-- Thanks to Bob
Jenkins
"Here in my hand is Fred
the Trained Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch
closely."
"Fred, do jumping
jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"
"Fred, do a somersault!"
"Fred, do a high
jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.
"Now Fred will do
a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster,
or someone in authority.
"Fred, do a long
jump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped
into your hair!"
Walk over to the
volunteer, start picking through their hair. "Here we are .. no,
that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's
not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's
not Fred either." "Boy, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred?
Fred?" ...
-- Thanks to Bob
Jenkins
Three guys are sitting
on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to
swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending
to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches
them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober
says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take
care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb
into his boat. Goober pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring
after them, shaking his head in disbelief).
Cast: Story teller, hunter,
game warden
The story teller
tells the story, while the hunter pantomimes the story and his actions.
The game warden comes in on cue.
Story Teller: There
once was this hunter who was hunting for several years in the same
location. Every year, he would see a deer grazing on the edge of
a cliff, which was just outside the allowed hunting zone. The deer
would never come into the hunting zone. Now this was a very big
deer, and would have been a wonderful prize. But the hunter was
always unsure, and didn't want to lose his license. Finally one
year, the hunter decided that he was going to shoot the deer anyway,
as he wasn't having much luck. He went up to the deer, saw that
it was dead, and threw it over his right shoulder, then put his
gun over his left shoulder. All of a sudden, the game warder came
up to him.
Game Warden: Excuse
me, sir, I was just watching you. What's that over your shoulder?
Hunter: (looking
over left shoulder) That's my hunting rifle.
Game Warden: And
what's that over your other shoulder?
Hunter: (looking
over right shoulder, and shakes off the deer) AAHHHHHH!
The skit starts out with
a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers
from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).
The volunteers are
then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the
'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)
After the volunteers
have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding
type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of
various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the
catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout
perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the
other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags,
or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved
close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under
the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that
the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.
Bring in the first
contestant...
It is then that the
'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her
way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the
ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then
as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the
bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout
should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.
Bring in the next
contestant...etc
This skit is generally
really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.
-- Thanks to James
Brezina
An announcer asks if
the audience will help with the squirrel's harvest. Several boys dressed
up like squirrels with paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out
into the audience bring back people known for their crazy behavior.
They are gathered on the stage and the announcer says that the title
of the skit will be, "The Gathering of the Nuts."
Vincent: I am the famous
artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great
expense to create one of my living nature paintings which will express
the atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need some trees.
(Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and
are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.)
Vincent: Now I will
need some birds to twitter among the trees.
(Three birds are
selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.)
Vincent: (Stands
back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything. (A tall
participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.)
Vincent: (Again viewing)
It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around. (Assistant
Leaders are chosen for rabbits)
Vincent: One last
touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're
always babbling ? (The brook takes his place.)
Vincent: (Turns to
audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature
scene. I call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."
The scene is a general
store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter. The counter is easily
represented by a long table with a few items piled on it.
Behind the Storekeeper
is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son.
He has a full change of clothes with him.
The Skit
The Storekeeper introduces
himself. He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him
to run it. He is very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every
customer, no matter what the customer wants.
A customer enters,
walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat. The Storekeeper turns
and calls out, "Hey Son, I need a hat." The curtain moves, and a
hand reaches through with a hat. The customer admires it, and they
agree on a price. The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks
out acting pleased.
Other customers repeat
the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants.
Each time, there is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay
before the clothing is handed through the curtain. There are sounds
of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment
to sell whatever the customer needs.
The last customer
walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear.
The Storekeeper does not hear him, and makes him repeat it until
everybody can hear clearly. Finally he says, "Oh of course. Underwear!
Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens.
The Storekeeper repeats
his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear."
There is no answer. He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son,
and says he will get the underwear himself. He stomps off behind
the curtain.
The curtain shakes,
and we hear, "No, Pa! No, Pa! No!" The Son runs through the curtain
and across the stage wearing only underpants.
This one is similar
to the Ghost With One Black Eye, but each is different enough to merit
their own title (after all, going through all of the skits, you'll
realize that many skits are simple variations on another.)
Cast: Ghost, Family
asleep in house
Setting: House at Night
Ghost: (Going up
to Mom, wakes her up -- uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost
of Midnight!
Mom: Ahhh!
Ghost: (To Dad -- same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Dad: I'm getting out of here!
Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Son: Help! Mommy!
Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shut up! It's only 11:45!
Cast: Ghost, 3 Pedestrians
Setting: City Street
#1: (Bends over;
picks up coin.) Wow! A loony!
Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
(#1 scared; drops
loony; runs away)
#2: (Bends over;
picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar!
Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
(#2 scared; drops dollar; runs away)
#3: (Bends over;
picks up coin.) Wow! Money!
Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
#3: Keep it up, and you'll get another!
Two guys start a ghost
catching business. They go to this house and can't get rid of the
ghost. The ghost finally leaves because one of the guys sings very
badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it and leaves.
On stage you have a boy
concealed in a sleeping bag that is open on both ends, he is the Giant
worm. Several "hikers" happen upon the worm. The hikers are eating
and carrying with them a supply of candy bars. They look at each other
in amazement ask each other "I wonder what he eats" The hikers hold
some candy bars near the mouth of the worm. The worm gobbles up the
candy bars wrappers and all. Then the worm quickly discards empty
wrappers form the other end.(stuff happens). The hikers run away.
Another group of hikers comes along drinking soft drinks and repeats
the routine. The third group comes along with nothing to eat or drink.
this group should have your smallest scout. this group also ponders
what this giant worm would et. At that moment the worm gobbles the
smallest scout. Then discards a pair of pants and shirt out the other
end. The worm walks off with the eaten scout under the sleeping bag.
The hikers run away.
There is a glass of water
in the middle of the stage. First scout crawls across the floor crying
for water. He dies dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl.
The second person dies just short of the glass of water. The third
person on his last bit of strength really hams up his desperation
as much as he can. He reaches the water, takes out a comb, grooms
his hair with the water, sighs with relief and goes off stage.
(One participant is on
hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')
Driver : Oh, this
fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now the front wheel has
come off. (Selects member of audience) Would you come over and give
me a hand. Thanks. (Selected person may have some comments to respond
to - then they are led to the cart.)
Driver : Here, if
you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your
hands and knees up there and be the front wheel. Now let me try
it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering
noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)
Driver : Now what
is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags
again.)
Driver : Now that
old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else)
Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just
hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car,
starts engine.)
Go Cart: (Sputters
to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver : (Getting
off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help.
(Selects more help) (New help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver: This wheel
is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly
so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets
on cart, starts engine)
Go Cart: (Starts
up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver : (Braking
to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed was a few NUTS to
get it going !
Three boys sitting on
a bench or chairs in the front of the room. The two boys on outside
have fishing poles, the one in the middle is reading a newspaper.
Boys with lines act like they are fishing.
Cub 1: Sure haven't
been catching much.
Cub 3: I haven't even had a nibble.
Policeman: (walks on from offstage.) What are you guys doing?
Cub 1: Fishing, sir.
Policeman: Can't you tell this is a pack meeting?
Cub 3: No, it's a pond!
Policeman: (nudges man with paper and he lowers it) Do you know
these two characters?
Cub 2: (folds newspaper) Sure, they are my friends.
Policeman: In that case, you'd better get them out of here.
Cub 2: Yes, sir. (reaching behind chair, picks up a paddle and acts
as if he is paddling away.)
A Scout walks out from
backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face. He struggles noisily to
get up, but keeps his forehead on the floor. He sometimes succeeds
in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor,
and his butt in the air. He rotates in this position, keeping his
forehead in one place. He calls for help for help, repeating "My forehead
is stuck!"
As he struggles,
other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity,
but they do not help.
Finally, a Scout
comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is
effusively grateful, but the rescuer just looks at his face. He
reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops
it into his mouth. "Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere
around here!"
Props: a large pot, several
spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.
Announcer: This scene
takes place in the camp Dining Hall.
(Several boys are
seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with
the spoons.)
Scott : Boy, this
is sure good soup.
Brad : Yep, it's
got REAL flavor.
David : Sure is,
why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Matthew: Oh yeah.
It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook : (Enters waving
floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water !!!
Version 2:
Known by the same
title in the Leader Magazine.
Cast: Three or four
Cubs or Scouts, Cook, Tub
Setting: Kitchen
#1: (Over tub, tasting
contents) Good Soup!
#2: Yeah, Good Soup!
#3: I know! Good Soup!
#4: None better than this! Good Soup!
Cook: (Comes running in) Get out of my dishwater!
Cast: Grandson, Granny
(2 people), Volunteer, Victim, campfire blanket(s)
Setting: In Granny's Room
Granny is in bed
(say on the floor,) and of course is covered with blankets. Your
two grannies lie down on their backs, as close together as possible,
with heads in opposite directions. The head of one is exposed, the
other being covered and where Granny's "feet" are.
Try to figure out
a way to set up the audience such that it seems like the right way
to be addressing Granny, such as Her being afraid of getting any
worse and wanting to be completely covered up to avoid getting cold.
Grandson: (To Granny)
Granny! Wake Up! It's time for your pill! (Pause -- no response.)
Granny! Wake Up! Oh no! She may be dead! (Ham it up, boys!) My gosh,
I'll need some help! (Get volunteer.) Help me wake Granny!
Both of them: Granny!
Wake UP! Wake Up!
Grandson: Oh, what
ever will we do? She needs to take that pill! I think we need more
help! (Get victim.) Will you help us? Just call out with us to wake
up Granny.
All of them: GRANNY!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
Grandson: Maybe if
you stand over her and ask her for a sign that she's still alive.
Victim: OK. (Stands
over her) Granny! Wake Up! Please! Give me a sign!
Granny's "back end"
rises up and hits him on the behind.
Paint a verbal picture
of the various scouts acting as a cash register (person says ching,
ching), popcorn machine (goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal,
swinging saying creak, creak), tree, chair, etc. Have three guys standing
there with no parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a
time, as customers. They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice,
gum, etc. Finally disgusted, a customer asks what she does have, and
she says all she has left is these three suckers standing in the corner.
Another 2-person skit
you can plug in.
Cast: GSITW, Partner
with metal pot (with a bit of water in it) and a pebble
Setting: Boardwalk, Circus, Amusement Park
Separate GSITW and
partner by about 15 feet.
Partner: Ladies and
Gentlemen! May I present to you the Greatest Spitter in the World!
He does all kinds of tricks with a mere spit! Let him show you the
simple spit first!
GSITW sends off a
regular spit, which is caught in the pot by the partner. When it's
supposed to land, he hits the bottom of the pot with a secret pebble
he holds in his hand.
Partner: Ladies and
Gents! That is not all he can do! Watch his fastball!
Again, another spit
which immediately "lands" in the pot. Continue with tricks, such
as slow spit, high spit, round the world spit (in which case each
turns around, backs facing each other, and the spit takes a while
to come around but indeed does,) curve spit, and so on. Finally,
Partner: Now for
his last spit! It's a really difficult spit but we think we have
it! It's a high, quadruple axle, curvy, spring jump spit! We must
have absolute silence for this one!
GSITW spits up, partner
follows it up, doing 4 spins, it curves side to side, begins to
jump up and down in air, then he seems to lose it ... no, there
it is ... he goes side to side, trying to catch it, he trips and
spills the water on the crowd.
Boy 1: Tonight we are
going to be talking about ancient Greece.
(Boy 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.)
Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.
Boy 2: Oh yeah, that's in back of the cafeteria.
Characters: A Building
Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made
for one person)
Contractor (inside
house): Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks
to space that is living room).
Wife: I like white.
Husband: No, how
about blue?
Wife: How 'bout tan?
Husband: Okay.
Contractor: Okay...(writes
down on paper) um.. wait just a second. The contractor goes to the
window looks out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green
side up!"
This repeats for
two more rooms. Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side
Up", couple converses between themselves and are not sure about
the sanity of the contractor.
After the last room:
Husband: Mr. (whatever
you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!"
outside the window? We didn't order any green wall paper!?!
Contractor: Oh. I
am sorry folks. Boy scout troop is being lead by Scout Master and
we just want to make sure the sod gets laid down right.--
-- Thanks to Josh
Small
Cast: Shopper with a
BIG package higher than his head, Pedestrian, People who are Cars
and One Bus
Setting: Busy Intersection
Cars and trucks whiz
by and don't stop for pedestrians.
Shopper: Excuse me,
Sir, could you tell me when there's nothing coming down the street,
so that I may cross?
Pedestrian: Sure.
(Pauses until cars stop whizzing by. Bus begins coming down the
street.) Now you can cross. There's only a dog coming. (He begins
to cross; bus hits him.)
New Setting: Hospital
Ward
Pedestrian: (To shopper
in bed) Gee, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.
Shopper: It's all
right. These things happen once in a while. But tell me, why did
you say there was a dog coming down the street when it was really
a bus?
Pedestrian: Well,
it was a Greyhound!
The cardboard box needs
to be large enough to hold one of the players and various props. "Load"
it and push it on stage, where a narrator explains that this marvelous
machine has been invented by tonight's guest, Professor..., who will
demonstrate its tremendous powers. He introduces the professor, who
enters carrying a bag of his props.
The professor explains
he has invented a wonderful machine that makes things grow. He proceeds
to demonstrate. He pulls a small piece of paper from his sack, pushes
buttons, etc., and throws in the piece of paper (sound effects,
flashing lights). The player inside throws out a paperback book.
The demonstration continues with small ball in, large ball out;
piece of string in, hunk of rope out; etc. Finally, the professor
throws in a baby doll. The player inside jumps out in baby clothes,
cries "Daddy!", and chases him off stage.
-- Thanks to the Leader
Magazine, May 1989
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