The MacScouter's Big Book of Scouts -- More Skits
Here are
some new skits that came my way after the January 1997 revision of the
Big Book of Skits. If you have any skits to add to this collection, please
send them to me.
Two campers are walking through
the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up
on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar. They're both frozen in
their tracks.
The first camper whispers,
"I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today."
"It doesn't matter what
kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies
the second.
"I don't have to outrun
the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," he answers.
Patrol of scouts line up facing
audience. One announces that this is the Earwash Skit. Scout at end of the
line drinks a glass of water. He puts his hands on his ears and shakes his
head. Then he pretends to spit the water into the ear of the scout next
to him. Repeat this process until the Scout at the end of the line shakes
his head. This Scout spits out some water onto the ground.
This requires a scout who
can hold water in his mouth and not be noticed.
-- Thanks to Bryan Tolcser,
Assistant Senior Patrol Leader, Troop 522, East Schodack, New York
A lighthouse keeper runs in
circles, pretending to run up the spiral staircase at the lighthouse, to
check on the light on top. The phone rings, and he runs down the spiral
staircase. He misses the phone call, and goes back up. The phone rings again
and he goes down again.
The lighthouse keeper answers
the phone, and finds out that he has two friends coming over to visit.
He goes back up the staircase to check light. Knock on the door or a bell
rings. He goes down the staircase to anwer the door. He and his friends
go up to the top while he checks the light. One friend faints. The lighthouse
keeper sends the other friend down to call 911. He starts to call but
forgets the number and goes back up to ask. He goes back down & calls
for the Doctor. He goes back up.
Door bell rings and they
go down to answer the door. The doctor enters and they all go up the staircase
to where the fainted friend is. The Doctor tells them the fainted friend
has to go to the hospital. The pick him up and go down.
On the way out the door
the friend asks what that other door is for. The lighthouse keeper says
it is the elevator.
(GROAN)
-- Thanks to Ken Spiegel,
Assistant Scoutmaster T209, Medford, NY
One morning the wide mouthed
frog decided to take a walk to see the world and enhance his education.
As he hopped through the meadow by the pond he came upon a cow. He hopped
over to the cow and said:
HELLO MRS. COW, I'M THE
WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES.
The cow replied: "I feed
my babies milk."
Frog: OOOOOHHH
The frog hopped further
into the meadow and came upon a bird pecking in the grass. He hopped over
to the bird and said:
HELLO MRS. BIRD, I'M THE
WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES. The bird replied:
"I feed my babies worms."
Frog: OOOOOHHH
The frog hopped further
into the meadow and came upon a horse eating grass. He hopped over to
the horse and said:
HELLO MRS. HORSE, I'M THE
WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES.
The horse replied: "I feed
my babies wide mouthed frogs."
Frog: oh
This works best when
the person doing the frog part has a large mouth and really hams up the
questions and the OOOHHH responses, opening the mouth widely while speaking.
The final "oh" is done with the mouth barely open and the voice barely
loud enough to be heard by the audience.
I have used this with
up to seven people one for the frog and six animals, no narrator, signs
around the neck or held by the persons doing the animals. A narrator can
be used if you like, but that would require five people, or you could
just recycle the first `animal'. Costumes would provide some added effect,
or you could just dress the frog in green, and the other animals appropriately.
The animals that you use need not be the ones that I used. When I have
more people to work with we add more animals. Having the final animal
be one that does not normally eat frogs provides more of a surprise for
the audience, but in some situations I have used an animal that does eat
frogs here, like when I have taught this to a group of fifth graders at
a week long ecology camp where their skit is supposed to include things
that they have learned during the week.
-- Thanks to Jay C Bingham,
Plano, TX, ADC - Great Plains District, Circle Ten Council
I'll bet you can turn this
pun into a skit!
Two cannibals meet one
day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender
Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've
barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to
get them tender."
The second cannibal asks,
"What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The reply, "You know, the
ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those
brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on
top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal
replies, "No wonder--those are fryers!"
-- Thanks to Cathy Porter,
Webelos Den Leader, Pack 108
Props: Need a Scout stave,
or a stick about 1" diameter x 5' long.
Pick out 2 unknowing people
from the group to hold up either end of the stick about elbow high. Let
them know the stick they're holding in now a counter in a candy store.
Scout #1 stands behind
the stick, acts like he's working behind the counter.
Scout #2 strolls up..."Hmm...a
candy store...gee, I'm hungry." Goes up to the counter.
#1: "Can I help you?"
#2: "Yea, I'd really like
a Hershey bar."
#1: "Sorry, fresh out of
Hershey bars."
#2: "Thanks anyway" and
leaves dejected.
Repeat the above scene
3 or 4 times with different scouts, asking for different candy bars, all
with the same negative response.
Finally, have all the scouts
enter the "store".
#2: "Gee, mister, we asked
for Hershey bars, Milky Ways, etc., and each time you said you were fresh
out. Do you really have any candy in this candy store?"
#1: "Why, sure I do."
#2: "Well, what do you
have?"
#1: "Well, especially for
you today, right here I have TWO SUCKERS ON A STICK!"
-- Thanks to William J.
Palardy
A group of scouts come out
and stand in a line across the stage. One, the announcer, stands in front
of them.
Announcer: "This is a test."
All: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. (Or
Beeeeeeeeep)
Announcer: This has been
a test of the emergency warning system. This
was only a test. If there had been a real emergency, we would have said...
(Scouts throw hands over heads, yell "Ahhhhhh", and run helter-skelter
off stage.)
-- Thanks to David Willcox,
SM, T104, Urbana,IL
Joe and
the Button Factory
There are umpteen zillion
versions of this skit. The one that I know goes like this.
Hi, my name is Joe,
And I work in a Button Factory.
I've got a wife, three kids,
And that's a lot.
One day my boss said to
me,
Joe, are you busy?
I said, no. He said,
Then press this button with
your right hand.
Repeat the chant, pressing
buttons with left hand, right foot, left foot, knees, head, tongue, etc,
until finally when the kid is gyrating wildly to the chant, and the boss
asks, "are you busy", he says YES! and walks off.
Dr. Frank
N. Stein and Igor
Here’s a cool skit
I learned at Webelos Camp. One Person is the announcer, one person is
Igor, one person is Dr. Frank N. Stein, and all the other people are salesmen.
Step 1. Announcer walks
up and says, "We will now take you to the home of Dr. Frank N. Stein,
where he is working on his latest invention, Igor."
Step 2. ( Igor is laying
down) One Salesman comes and knocks on the door. Dr. Stein opens door
and salesman says, " Hello, my name is ----------- and I'm selling ------------.
Would you like to buy one? Dr Stein Says, " Sure I'll buy one but first
come see my greatest invention, Igor. (Salesman comes inside) Dr Stein
says, "This is Igor, Igor can sit, ( Igor sits) Igor can stand, (Igor
stands) Igor can walk, (Igor walks to salesman) and Igor can kill. ( salesman
screams and Igor shoves him off the stage)
Repeat until all salesmen
are gone.
Step 3. Once all salesmen
are gone Dr. Stein walks up to audience and says, "Thank you for coming
to see Den\Pack ___'s skit. As you see, Igor can sit, stand, walk, and
kill. (Igor shoves Dr. Stein off stage and bows.)
French Restaurant
This skit is best done with
older scouts because its rather complicated, and even better if the volunteer
is an unknowing new adult leader. It always gets big laughs from everyone
involved.
Props needed: two chairs,
two glasses of water
Cast: at least three people
For this skit set two chairs
facing each other and have a Scout pretend to be opening a French restaurant.
He should describe the restaurant, telling the audience all the things
he has for the grand opening, a kitchen, the food, chairs, etc. The Scout
then realizes that he forgot an important part of the restaurant: the
table. He then asks for a volunteer from the audience to come be the table.
He then has the volunteer get down on his hands and knees between the
chairs as the table. The owner then exclaims, "I can now open the restaurant."
The two people then walk
on stage and sit down at the table. The owner asks the guests if they
know what they want and the guests say no, so the owner offers to bring
them some water while they decide. When the owner comes back with the
water he sets it on the table (audience volunteer) and the guests tell
him they are ready to order. The guests then order all types of non-French
food (hamburgers, spaghetti, pizza). Upon them doing this the owner gets
very upset, arguing that they cannot eat that at his restaurant, as they
can order only French food. This goes on for a couple of minutes, the
guests ordering non-French food and the owner saying they cannot have
it. Finally the guests get up and upset, tell the owner they are leaving
for McDonalds, and leave. The owner then turns to the audience and tells
them that he hopes they enjoyed the skit, and exits, too. This leaves
only the audience volunteer, who, with two cups full of water on his back,
cannot go anywhere!
Top Secret
Mission
Scout 1 ( to audience) "
Me and my partner are just taking off in our airplane on a top secret
mission.
Scout 2 ( Checking Everything
) Brakes?
Scout 1: Check
Scout 2: Speed?
Scout 1: Check
Scout 2: Oxygen?
Scout 1: Check
Scout 2: Gas
Scout 1: Terrible, it's
been bothering me all day.
(This one went over well
with out troop - 1st Port Elgin Troop "B" Port Elgin , Ontario, Canada
(we are a country troop) )
Country
Scouts in the Big City
Two scouts enter campfire
circle
#1 Hi, we are country scouts,
and this is our first trip to the big city.
#2 Hey, (looking around)
did you ever see such big buildings?
#1 & # 2 ham it up,
describing all the things they see, stores, statues, offices, traffic,
etc. Gee, we don't have anything like this in the country.
Finally #1 stops, looks
down, and says "Gee, I wonder what that is for? (He points to a round
circle on the ground) - draw one if necessary.
#2 - Oh, I know what that
is for, watch me ...
Scouts turn around, and
then announce in a loud voice "Some time latter!"
#2 is jumping up and down
on the round circle, yelling "21" each time he jumps. #1 is watching,
smiling.
#3 comes up, obviously a
city scout ..
#3 - Hey what are you guys
doing?
#2 - Oh, we are from the
country, and this is our first trip to the city. We didn't know it could
be this much fun to visit the city.
#3 For crying out loud,
guy, you are standing in the middle of the street jumping up and down!
#1 Yeah, but it is fun.
#3 But you'll be hit by
a car. You country guys need a lesson about the city!
#2 Aw, come on, try it,
it is fun "21" "21" "21"
#3 Not me guy ..
#1 Aw, come on, try it,
it really is fun.
#3 steps onto the circle
and does a little hop mumbling "21"
#2 No, you've got to really
put yourself into it - climbs back on, and jumps again "21"
#3 Oh, OK, I'll show you
guys that anything you country scouts can do, we city scouts can do better
... Steps back on the circle, takes a big jump and yells "21"
At this point #1 and #2
whisk away the manhole cover (circle) and #3 screams and falls to the
ground, rolling away.
#1 and #2 put the circle
back.
#1 climbs back on. OK, my
turn now. Hey, this is really fun. "22" "22" "22" .....
Another
CPR Skit
This is a skit that I have
done a couple of times in the past few years. Scouter Bill Palmer - 1st
Port Elgin, 15th Juan de Fuca Scouts in Victoria, B.C.
One person is laying on
the floor. Two other people walk up. First person: "Hey this guy is hurt."
he goes and checks his heart beat. First person: "No heart beat, help
me do CPR" Second person goes down and starts pumping on the chest and
the first guy does the mouth blows.
Do this for a little while.
Second person: "I'm getting
kind of tired here I think it is time to switch."
First person: "Ok, ready"
At this point the person
on the ground gets up, one of the other people goes down and they start
doing CPR again.
There you go, this is a
good skit to do with leaders.
The Rough
Riders
Who: 4 Rough Riders (North,
South, East, West) [probably older scouts], two campers
Works well at a campfire
and when it's dark outside. Produces great surround sound ("From the North!",
"From the South!"...)
Camper 1: Well, we only
have room for one person in the tent. You want to sleep inside the tent?
Camper 2: No thanks. You
can.
Camper 1: All right... Good
night. [gets inside tent, both get in sleeping bags and go to sleep]
[we hear cries from the
shadows and from their respective directions, in order, NOT in unison]
North: From the North!
South: From the South!
East: From the East!
West: From the West!
Rough Riders [then in unison]:
We are... the Rough Riders!!! [the four run in and make-believe that they
are all beating up on the camper outside for a few seconds, then leave
suddenly] Camper 2: Hey Camper1, can I please come inside. These four
guys came in and b---
Camper 1: Oh, come on, you
were only dreaming. Go back to sleep. [Camper 2 lies back down but doesn't
go to sleep, being afraid] [The Rough Riders call out again and repeat
the same sequence] Camper 2: Camper1, can I _PLEASE_ sleep in the tent.
Those four came out ag---
Camper 1: All right, all
right. [reluctantly] Camper 2: [let's out quiet "Yes!"]
[They trade places]
[Rough Riders come out again
but North stops them suddenly before they are about to come down on the
Camper 1 outside] North: Wait... Hold on a sec, I think we beat this poor
guy up enough, let's get the one inside...
[they reach inside the tent
and bring Camper 2 back outside and start, well, you know....]
-- Thanks to Michal W. Sterzycki,
BSA Troop 494, North Madison, CT
Talking
Dog
The scene
opens in a restaurant where a waiter is taking a customer's order. A man
walks in with a dog. Upon seeing the dog a conversation begins between
the agitated waiter and the man.
Waiter:
"Hey! You can't bring that dog in here."
Man: "You
don't understand sir, this is no ordinary dog. This is a talking dog."
The waiter
looks very skeptical.
Waiter:
"I'm sorry sir, but the dog will have to go."
Man: "I'll tell you what.
If I can prove that my dog can talk, Will you let him stay?"
Reluctantly the Waiter agrees.
The man gets his dog's attention
and begins to ask him three questions.
Man: "What is on top of
a house?"
Dog: (barking)"Roof"
Man: "What is the opposite
of smooth?"
Dog: (barking)"Ruff"
Man: "Who was the greatest
baseball player of all time?"
Dog: (barking)"Ruth"
The waiter is furious and
throws the man and his dog out of the restaurant.
The man and his dog are
sitting on the curb outside the restaurant when the dog turns to the man.
Dog: "Who should I have
said, Joe DiMaggio?"
-- Thanks to Mark R. Bohrer,
CM Pack 517, SA Troop 99, Lawrenceville GA
THE YELLOW
BANDANA
Actors: 1 magician, 1 volunteer
Props: 1 yellow neckerchief,
1 banana, 1 jacket, 1 shirt with front pocket
(like a Scout shirt)
The magician is on stage,
with the yellow bandana and banana placed behind him (preferrably on a
table, but the ground will work), in plain sight of the audience. He is
wearing a shirt with a front pocket, and a jacket on top of it. Unbeknownst
to the audience, he has a banana in the inside pocket of his jacket. He
explains to the audience that he is about to perform a great magic trick
and asks for a volunteer to help accomplish this feat.
Of course, a million hands
will go up, but the person playing the part of the volunteer should jump
up and down, make obnoxious "Oh, Oh, Oh" sounds, and yell in an over-enthusiastic
kind of way "Pick me! Pick me!" repeatedly, until it becomes obvious to
the magician that in the very least he needs to pick this person just
to quiet him down somewhat. When he is chosen, he should hoop and holler
and just live it up as he makes his way to the stage. Messy, sloppy dress
(shirt untucked, hat on sideways, etc.) will really help him fit the part.
He should also act slightly mentally challenged (i.e. slow).
When the volunteer gets
on stage, the magician (after a little chat with the volunteer so the
audience gets the impression that he truly is mentally challenged) should
tell him to stand behind the table containing the objects mentioned before,
so as to be out of the magician's view. He then explains to the audience
that he will attempt to transfer the object on the table from the volunteer
to his front shirt pocket. He should demonstrate that the pocket is empty
to the audience. He should tell the volunteer (keeping his eyes toward
the audience) that he needs to follow every instruction he is given very
carefully, and that he cannot speak at all, or the magic will not work.
Now comes the fun part.
Magician: (facing the audience,
but speaking to the volunteer) "Pick up the yellow BANDANA."
Volunteer: (looks confused,
starts to ask a question, remembers he should not speak, so he picks up
the BANANA)
Magician: (Mimicking the
motion as if he had a bandana) "Now, Lay IT out flat on your left hand."
(notice he never says the word BANDANA)
Volunteer: (again confused,
lays the banana on his left hand)
Magician: "Take the upper
left corner, and fold it to the bottom right corner."
Volunteer: (really ham this
up - confused, wanting to talk, etc. - finally he takes one end of the
banana and folds it over to the other. Be careful not to lose any part
of it in the process!)
The magician should go through
a few more steps of folding, etc., to the banana, never saying the word
BANDANA in the process, with the volunteer whole-heartedly attempting
to do exactly as he says.
Magician: "Finally, make
a fist with your left hand, take the folded object, and stuff it inside
your fist, hiding it from our view."
Volunteer: (grimaces terribly
as he attempts to stuff entire banana into his fist)
Magician: "Using your other
hand, wave it over the top of your fist, saying the magic words 'Ali-Sis-Koombah'
three times." (the magic words can be changed as you prefer)
Volunteer: (motions) "Ali-Sis-Koombah,
Ali-Sis-Koombah, Ali-Sis-Koombah."
Magician: "Ladies and gentlemen
I shall now pull the object out of my pocket" (reaches into jacket pocket,
pulls out BANANA, looks very suprised) "A BANANA?! What? How did that...?"
(quickly turns to look at volunteer and sees the BANANA oozing out of
his fingers) "I thought I told you to pick up the yellow BANDANA, not
BANANA!"
Volunteer: "That's not a
BANDANA, that's a neckerchief!"
NOTE: The success of this
skit depends on the seriousness of the magician and the facial expressions
of the volunteer.
-- Thanks to Mark Savoldi
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