Scouting Songs

Table of Contents

Ging Gang Gooli

        During the first World Jamboree B.P. was looking for a song that everyone could sing, no matter what their language was. Ging Gang Gooli was the result. It is of no language, but it means a lot of fun. The story was apparently created later.
        In the deepest darkest Africa there is a legend concerning the Great Gray Ghost Elephant. Every year, after the rains, the great gray ghost elephant arose from the mists and wandered throughout the land at dawn. When he came to a village, he would stop and sniff the air, then he would either go around the village or through it. If he went round the village, the village would have a prosperous year, if he went through it, there would be hunger and drought.
        The village of War-Cha had been visited three years in a row by the elephant and things were pretty bad indeed. The village leader, Ging-Ganga was very worried, as was the village medicine man Hay-la-shay. Together, they decided to do something about the problem. Now Ging-Ganga and his warriors were huge men with big shields and spears. They decided to stand in the path of the elephant and shake their shields and spears at it to frighten it away. Hay-la-shay and his followers were going to cast magic spells to deter the elephant by shaking their medicine bags, as the elephant approached. The medicine bags made the sound - shalawally, shalawally, shalawally.
        Very early in the morning of the day the Great Gray Ghost Elephant came, the villagers gathered at the edge of the village, on one side were Ging-Ganga and his warriors, (indicate right) and on the other was Hay-la-shay and his followers (indicate left). As they waited the warriors sang softly about their leader - Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo, Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo. As they waited the medicine men sang of their leader - Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho, Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho.
        And they shook their medicine bags - Shalli-walli, shalli-walli, Shalli-walli, shalli-walli.
        And from the river came the mighty great gray ghost elephant's reply - Oompa, oompa, oompa...
        The elephant came closer, so the warriors beat their shields and sang louder (signal warriors to stand and beat their thighs in time) - Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo, Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo.
        Then the medicine men rose and sang loudly - Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho, Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho. And they shook their medicine bags - Shalli-walli, shalli-walli, Shalli-walli, shalli-walli. And the mighty great gray ghost elephant turned aside and went round the village saying - Oompa, oompa, oompa...
        There was great rejoicing in the village and all the villagers joined in to sing .... Ging gang gooli....

Our Paddles Keen and Bright

Our paddles keen and bright, flashing like silver,
Swift as the wild goose flies, dip, dip, and swing.

Dip, dip, and swing them back, flashing like silver,
Swift as the wild goose flies, dip, dip, and swing.

Sing two or three times through, with voices becoming louder and then softer-as though canoes were first approaching and then moving away. [Also may be sung as a round.]

I've Got That Scouting Spirit

I've got that Scouting spirit up in my head,
Up in my head, up in my head.
I've got that Scouting spirit up in my head,
Up in my head to stay.

2. I've got that Scouting spirit deep in my heart.
3. I've got that Scouting spirit down in my feet.
4. I've got that Scouting spirit all over me.

Where Have all the Tigers Gone...

This is sung to the tune of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?"

Where have all the Tigers gone, long time growing
Where have all the Tigers gone, in just a year
Where have all the Tigers gone,
Gone to Cub Scouts every one
They've got so much to learn,
They've got so much to learn.

Where have all the Cub Scouts gone, growing up so fast,
Where have all the Cub Scouts gone, it took three years.
Where have all the Cub Scouts gone,
Gone to Webelos every one.
There's still some more to learn,
There's still some more to learn.

Where have all the Webelos gone, no longer little boys,
Where have all the Webelos gone, fifth grade was last fall.
Where have all the Webelos gone
Gone to Boy Scouts every one.
It's a great adventure,
It's a great adventure.

Where have all the Boy Scouts gone, young men standing tall,
Where have all the Boy Scouts gone, eighteen draws near.
Where have all the Boy Scouts gone,
To fly with Eagles every one.
We love to be Boy Scouts,
We love to be BOY SCOUTS!

-- Thanks to Eyeleen, Orange Service Unit #3, Orange, California -- Cub Scout translation by Becky Shank, Webelos Leader, Pack 636, Great Western District, Greater Cleveland Council.

Akela's Son

Sung to tune "Here Comes Peter Cottontail"

I've never seen a happier lad than one who's obeying his mother or dad.
He doesn't talk back when he's told just what to do.
I never have seen a happier lad
than one who's obeying his mother or dad,
But he jumps to his job with a snap and a click of his shoes.

So be thankful for all that your mom or dad do,
And do all you can to make them proud of you.
You'll find your reward doing the things your told.
So be thankful for all that your mom or dad do,
And do all you can to make them proud of you.
You'll find your reward, doing the things your told.

So honor Akela in every way
And you'll have many a happy day
Your mom or dad will be so proud of you
Just do your best in every way,
And you'll have many a Happy day
This is the promise that Akela brings to you.

Camp School Banana Song

Sung to tune "Ging Gang Gooley"

We're a bunch of yellow bananas, we're a bunch, we're a bunch.
We're a bunch of yellow bananas, we're a bunch, we're a bunch.
Appealing, yes we're appealing, we've got the feeling
That we're a bunch of Scouts.
Appealing, yes we're appealing, we've go the feeling,
That we're a -{spoken}- Bunch of Scouts!

Quartermaster's Song

Sung to tune "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen"

Nobody knows the grub that I've seen,
Nobody knows the mixture.
Nobody knows the way it's prepared,
They're better off that way.

The Scouts were ravished beyond compare,
They gathered and washed their hands.
They came to the table and said their prayers
But only I know why!

Cause, nobody knows the grub that I've seen,
Nobody knows the mixture.
Oh, nobody asks for my recipes,
They're better off that way.

Sometimes there is a food fight,
The hardtack's mighty fine.
For propelling from a napkin,
The recipe is mine.

Sometimes the beans are thick,
and sometimes they are not,
Can you think of my ingredient, . . .
I'd tell but I'd rather not.

Cause, Nobody knows the grub that I've seen,
Oh, nobody knows the mixture,
Nobody knows the way it's prepared,
They're better off that way.

Quartermaster's Store

Pinewood Derby Racing Song

Sung to tune "Take me out to the ball game"

Take me out to the pinewood, take me out to the crowd.
Buy me some graphite and a sanding block, I don't care if I ever get back.

We will root root root for my racer,
If I don't win you can say.
That I cut, sanded and designed it my self
Iin the Cub Scout Way!

B'gosh their starting the race now, I see my friend's in the heat
He's standing there biting his fingernails, But I am sure that he'll never be beat!

For, We'll root root root for my den-mate,
If he doesn't win we can say.
That he cut, sanded, and designed it him self
In the Cub Scout Way!

The Scouts have declared a winner,
And I am proud to say,
My racer, it got to the end of the track,
And my den leader let me bring it back,

For a second heat in consolation,
Was my decision today.
But I cut, sanded, and designed it myself
Iin the Cub Scout Way!

Scouting's - "Where Oh Where Are You Tonight"

Sung to melody of "Where Oh Where Are You Tonight"

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I fixed the kids dinner and they are in bed now.
Since you found Scouting, you're never at home.

When I started Scouting, all they ever told me
Was "Go with the boys, and have lots of fun."
Now all that I do is go to Scout meetings.
It seems like I'm always the one on the run.

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I fixed the kids dinner and they are in bed now.
Since you found Scouting, you're never at home.

One day I was told to try basic training.
I went 'cuz it sounded like lots of fun.
Now I am in charge of all of the training.
Oh, Heaven help me! Now what have I done!!??!!

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
So sorry you missed your kid's graduation.
Maybe his wedding will bring you back home.

Woodbadge was something that I'd never heard of.
Worked for those beads 'till blue in my face.
One day I came home and she was spring cleaning:
She threw out those beads on that old shoelace!!

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Your oldest daughter just had her first son.
Should I tell her now of all that's she's in for?
Her life in Scouting has only begun.

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I fixed the kids dinner and they are in bed now.
Since you found Scouting, you're never at home.

I Wanna Be A Scout

Sung to tune "Achey Breakey Heart"

I wanna be a Scout,
A true blue honest Scout,
I thought my dad would understand.

A real live Scout,
A campin' trampin' Scout,
Learning from Akela time and again.

Webelos and Bear,
Tiger and a Wolf,
My Dad said I was joining a zoo.

But, I wanna be a Scout,
A true blue honest Scout,
I know its the thing for me and you.

We went on a hike,
A nice long Scouting hike,
A look at my dad showed he was blue.

I asked how he felt,
When he dropped down and knelt,
And this is what I heard him mutter thru.

"My achey breakey back,
>From my keester to my neck,
Is tense and my muscles are hot too."

"How do you go on,
Without feeling like you've gone,
A hundred miles with an ape on top of you."

Cause I am a Scout,
A biking hikin' Scout,
I passed my advancement with no prob.

I know how to hike,
It's something that I like,
I'm sorry that its got the best of you.

We got back to camp,
My dad still had his cramp,
So I helped him get through our tent door.

I went to get food,
It would do him some good,
And he started speaking clearly as he snored.

"I wanna be a Scout,
A true blue honest Scout,
I thought my dad would understand."

"A real live Scout,
A campin' trampin' Scout,
Learning from Akela time and again."

Lord Baden-Powell

-- Thanks to Rich Yarnell

Scout Wetspers

Tune: Scout Vespers (Oh, Tannenbaum)

Softly falls the rain today
As our campsite floats away.
Silently, each Scout should ask
"Did I bring my SCUBA mask?
Have I tied my tent flaps down?
Learned to swim, so I won't drown?
Have I done, and will I try
Everything to keep me dry?"

-- Thanks to Chuck Bramlet

On the first day of Scout Camp, my mommie sent to me A box of Trails End Popcorn.

On the second day of Scout Camp, my mommie sent to me Two Tee-shirts, and a <<skip to above>>

On the third day of Scout Camp <<continue wording as above>> Three pairs of socks, two <<skip to above>>

Fourth // Four Woolen Caps
Fifth // Five Underpants
Sixth // Six postage stamps
Seventh // Seven cans of bug spray
Eighth // Eight batman comic books
Ninth // Nine bars of soap
Tenth // Ten dry matches
Eleventh // Eleven shoe strings
Twelfth // Twelve bandaids

The Scout's Winter Song

Sung to tune "If your happy and you know it"

<<Sung>>
If you have a cold and you know it blow your nose
If you have a cold and you know it blow your nose
If you really have a cold, then grab just one of those If you really have a cold blow your nose.

If you're a Scout and you know it say 'Do Your Best'
If you're a Scout and you know it say 'Do Your Best'
If you're a Scout and you know it, then your deeds will surely show it,
If you're a Scout and you know it say 'Do Your Best'

If you're in a snowball fight, duck your head.
If you're in a snowball fight, duck your head.
If you're in a snowball fight, then don't freeze up in fright.
If you're in a snowball fight, duck your head.

If you sing our winter song, then do all three.
<<sniffle, sniffle, Do Your Best, Kersplat, Too late!>>
If you sing our winter song, then do all three.
<<sniffle, sniffle, Do Your Best, Kersplat, Too late!>>
If you sing our winter song, then the cheer will keep you warm.
If you sing our winter song, then do all three.
<<sniffle, sniffle,Do Your Best, Kersplat, Too late!>>

Scouting ˜Do You Know What I Know"

Sung to tune "Do you hear what I hear"

Said the Tiger Cub to the Mighty Scout,
"Do you know what I know?
With my partner I just learned about,
Do you know what I know?
A promise, a promise is swirling in my head, It will bring us the world and fun.
It will bring us the world and fun."

Said the Wolf Cub to the Mighty Scout,
"Do you hear what I hear?
In my den I just learned about,
Do you hear what I hear?
A skit, a skit, is practised just for you, It will bring us experience and delight,
It will bring us experience and delight."

Said the Bear Cub to the Mighty Scout,
"Have you made what I've made?
In our shop just the other night,
Have you made what I've made? A craft, a craft is sitting over there.
It will bring us good skills to share,
It will bring us good skills to share."

Said the Webelos to the Mighty Scout,
"Have you been where I've been?
In the snow and in the warmth of Spring,
Have you been where I've been? The camping, the food, our curiosity,
We are strong to follow your path,
We are strong to follow your path."

Said the Mighty Scout to cubs gathered there,
"Do you know what I know?
In your dens Scouts everywhere,
Do you know what I know? Your games, your work is shining in your face.
You will grow to lead the rest,
You will grow to do your best!

Scouting's Bare Necessities

Sung to tune "We've got those bare necessities"

We like those bare necessities, those SCOUTING bare necessities;
That keep a Scout's life busy and full of fun.
We've got those bare necessities, the simple things to rest at ease;
While the rest of folks have campers with TV's.

I'm talkin' about cooking on an open fire; With only a tin can and part of a tire.
The food may smell a bit too strong;
But the aftertaste does not stay long.
And I know that you'll surely agree,
It sticks to your ribs and fills your tummy, Now sing along with me!

The bare necessities of life is Scouting's way,
We're sure today,
It's the Best Way !

Making a Purple Stew

Need Moderator and 2 or 3 savages to start.

REFRAIN: Making a purple stew wop wop a do wop wop,
Making a purple stew a scooby dooby a do wop wop.
Purple potatoes, and Purple tomatoes, and
You ah ah are purple too.

STORY: One day, I was walking through the woods by my camp enjoying the sights and sounds of nature. When all of the sudden, a group of savages grabbed me and tied me up. They took me to their camp hidden in the forest, and threw me in a great big pot. Then, you know what? They started dancing, and jiving, and singing this C*R*A*Z*Y song.

<<REFRAIN>>

Well, I started to get a little concerned you know as the pot got hotter and hotter, so I started looking around. Just then I saw some little brown monkeys a looking at us from behind the trees. Well the savages saw them too. So I yelled "Run Away Little Monkeys, Run Away!" But the monkeys didn't run. And, Do you know why? "Cause Monkeys Are Stupid." So those dancing, jiving savages ran out and caught those monkeys, and threw them in the stew. "Now, it sure is funky to see a purple monkey, singing that crazy song."

<<REFRAIN>>

So, those monkeys and I started getting a bit hot, and we looked around for a way to get out, when all of the sudden I saw some bunnies. So I yelled "Run Away Little Bunnies, Run Away!" But the bunnies didn't run away either. And, Do you know why? Because, Bunnies Are Stupid!" So the savages ran out after the bunnies, they caught them, and they threw the bunnies in the pot. And you know, "It sure is funny to see a purple bunny, singing a crazy song."

<<REFRAIN>>

Well, it was starting to look really bad for me and the little animals. So I started to look low, and I started to look high, and what did I see? Some birds in a tree and I yelled "Fly Away Little Birds, Fly Away!" But, did the birds fly away? Noooo, "Cause Birds Are Stupid!" So the savages climbed the trees real fast and caught those birds and they threw them in the pot. Now, do you know what? "It sure was absurd to see a purple bird, singing that crazy song."

<<REFRAIN>> (can include episode-sure is sad to see a purple dad . . .)

By this time, It was getting mighty hot! Whew. And I knew something had to be done. So I started looking around, when all of the sudden, but what did I see, some mommies looking at me, and I yelled "Run Away Mommies, Run Away!" But did the mommies run away? Nooo, and do you know why <<wait for audience to answer, then say>> Because, Mommies are Special. <<pause>> But the savages ran fast and caught the mommies and threw them in that pot of purple stew. We were getting too hot, so me and the monkeys, and bunnies, and birdies, and mommies put our heads together and made a plan. We started rocking that pot. To the left but the savages stopped us. Then to the right, but they stopped us again. So one more time with all our might to the left, and We all ran free! . . . Now this is my story of the purple stew. But you know late at night on campouts just like this, if you listen real carefully off in the distance you can hear that crazy song. <<in whisper sing refrain>>

Sing Old Sam

Sung to tune of "Auld Lang Syne"

Should old Cub Scouts, be forgot
If no arrow points have they?
Or should we burn a candle dear
To light the Scouting way?

A candle in the dark is bright.
We feel its warmth and cheer.
Like Scouting is to all of us,
It is something we hold dear.

A candle in the dark is bright.
It gives us light of day.
We'll burn a candle brightly dear
To light the Scouting way.

So do your best and be prepared.
And recall the Scout law too!
We've sung enough of this tonight
But may Scouting stay with you.

C' C' C' Campfire

Sung to tune "K' K' K' Katie"

C' C' C' Campfire, beautiful campfire,
You're the part of our outing I love best!
C' C' C' Campfire, C' C' C' Campfire,
You give us warmth and keep my interest!

M' M' M' Marshmallow, M' M' M' Marshmallow,
Is a flaming torch when I hold it too close!
My my my leader, Yell's blow it out Peter!
But I like marshmallows crispy as burnt toast!

When the the Moon shone, on the horizon,
We stoked you up to be a blazing pyre.
We sat and told stories, they kept my attention,
Cause your flames made the story come to life!

C' C' C' Campfire, beautiful campfire,
You're the part of our outing I love best!
C' C' C' Campfire, C' C' C' Campfire,
You give us warmth and keep my interest!

When I return home, Mom knows I've been camping.
I can tell by the speed at which she said:
"Into the shower, stay there for an hour
To get rid of the smell on your hair and head!"

C' C' C' Campfire, beautiful campfire
You're the part of our outing I love best!
C' C' C' Campfire, C' C' C' Campfire,
You give us warmth and keep my interest!

Ode To Joe

Sung to theme from Beethoven's Fifth Symphony "Ode to Joy"

Last year in scout camp we invented, This song entitled Ode to Joe.
We sat there trying to decide, What practical joke to pull.

Joe was in his tent sleeping, He had his blankey and his teddy bear.
We decided to implore him, to go yonder over there.

To retrieve some wood for our cooking, we had specific instructions too!
And now the following is what we told him, To be sure and go out and do.

We asked for vines and we asked for leaves, knowing full well Joe would get poison ivy.
He started the fire, with Boy Scout ease, As we skeddadled to take our leave.

We had extra work next day at school. Good old Joe was not a fool.
Practical jokes surely don't pay, Cause Joe was at home with his teddy today!

Trusty Tommy

Trusty Tommy was a Boy Scout
Loyal to his mother,
Helpful to the folks about,
And Friendly to his brother.
Courteous to the girls he knew,
Kind unto his rabbit,
Obedient to his father, too,
and Cheerful in his habits.
Thrifty saving for a need,
Brave, but not a faker,
Clean in thought and word and deed,
And Reverent to his Maker.

The Scout Who Never Returned

[Tune: Charlie On The MTA]

Let me tell you of a story of a Scout named . . . ,
On that tragic and fateful day;
Put his/her Scout knife in his/her pocket;
Kissed his/her dog and family;
When to hike in the woods far away.

Well, did he/she ever return?
No, he/she never returned.
And his/her fate is still unlearned:
He/she may roam forever in the woods and mountains,
He/she's the Scout who never returned.

Now you citizens of [town name],
Don't you think it's a scandle
How ol' [Scout's name] got lost that day?
Take the right equipment; TAKE ALONG A BUDDY,
When you hike in the hills that way.

Or else you'll never return,
No, you'll never return.
And your fate will be unlearned: (just like [Scout's name])
You may roam forever in the woods and mountains,
Like the Scout who never returned.

Mighty Fine ... Scout Camp

The busses that you ride in, they say are mightly fine,
But when they turn a corner, they leave the wheels behind.

Chorus:
Oh, I don't want no more of Scout Camp Life..
Gee, Mom, I want to go, but they won't let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The leaders that they have here, they say are mighty fine,
But when you get up closer, they look like frankenstein.

The first aid that they give you, they say is mighty fine,
But if you cut your finger, you're left with only nine.

The water that they have here they say is mighty fine,
But when you try to drink it, it tastes like turpentine.

The biscuits that they serve you, they say are mighty fine
But one rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine

The spagetti that they serve you, they say is mighty fine
They rinse it the toilet and drain it on the line/

The cocoa that they serve you, they say is mighty fine
It's good for cuts and bruises and tastes like iodine.

The tents/cabins that you sleep in, they say are mighty fine
But whoever said this has never slept in mine.

The toilets that they have here are the best that they can get
Last night my tent mate had to go, they haven't found him/her yet.

Be Kind To Your . . . Scouting Friends

[Tune: Stars and Stripes Forever]

Be kind to your . . . Scouting friends,
That's a pledge from one Scout to another.
Be kind to your leaders today,
'Cause for helping they don't get any pay.
Be kind to your neighbors and friends,
'Cause by caring you follow Scouting's letter.
. . . Scouting and friendship are grand,
And as we grow, the world will know,
We've made things better.

On My Honor

On my honor, I'll do my best,
to do my duty to God.
On my honor, I'll do my best,
to serve my country as I may.
On my honor, I'll do my best,
to do my good turn each day,
to keep my body strengthened,
to keep my mind awakened,
to follow paths of righteousness,
On my honor, I'll do my best.

Philmont Hymn

Silver on the sage,
Starlit skies above,
Aspen covered hills,
Country that I love.
Philmont Here's thee,
Scouting Paradise,
Out in God's country, tonight

Wind in whispering pines,
Eagles soaring high,
Purple mountains rise,
Against an azure sky.
Philmont here's to the,
Scouting Paradise,
Out in God's country tonight.

Scout Vespers

Softly falls the light of day,
While our campfires fade away.
Silently each Scout should ask:
Have I done my daily task?
Have I kept my honor bright?
Can I guiltless sleep tonight?
Have I done and have I dared,
Everything to be prepared?

Day is Done (Taps)

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

Fading light, dims the sight,
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.
From afar, drawing nigh, falls the night.

Thanks and praise, for our days,
'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, neath the sky;
As we go, this we know, God is nigh.

Sun has set, shadows come,
Time has fled, Scouts must go to their beds
Always true to the promise that they made.

While the light fades from sight,
And the stars gleaming rays softly send,
To thy hands we our souls, Lord, commend.

Boy Scouts of America

We're the Boy Scouts of America
Scouting for things anew.
Our activities lead to victories
in all we set out to do.

We're the Boy Scouts of America,
We plan hand in hand each day
To do better than need be done
till all our goals are won
champs with a winning way.

We're loyal tto purpose and integrity
Pledged to the Scout Oath eternally.
With verve and conviction we sing our song
to keep America strong.

We're the Boy Scouts of America
and this we have to say
Join us and we'll stand beside you,
beside you all the way.
The Boy Scouts of America
will stand beside you all the way.

I Am a Cub Scout

I am a Cub Scout
And a very happy boy.
With a uniform of blue and gold
And a den that gives me joy.
I am a Cub Scout
Earning badges one by one
I do my best and i meet the test
A god citizen i've become.
I help out other people when
I see they need a lot.
I do my chores around the house
And i feed my dog named spot.
I am a Cub Scout
Doing my duty willingly.
Someday i'll join a boy scout troop
And a fine man i will be.

-- Thanks to William Smith

The Mafeking Man

One day in Mafeking a man
Besieged by Boers thought of a plan
To help the Nations youths lead better lives
"I'll teach them how to hunt and track
And all the parts of the Union Jack
And how to whittle wood with big sheath knives".

CHORUS

He collected kids from the corner of the streets
Little gutter rats
He collected kids from the upper class
Young aristocrats
And he taught them that they could
All live in Brotherhood
Wearing baggy shorts and a funny cowboy hats.

He wrote a book, did old B.P.
And very soon found that he
Had little time to spare in a day
So he left the army and began
To work upon his Scouting plan
And get things organized in his own way.

-- Thanks to Carol Smith

If I Weren't a Boy Scout ...

If I were not a Boy Scout, I wonder what I'd be
If I were not a Boy Scout, a ......

1. A bird watcher I'd be
Hark a lark, flying through the park, SPLAT!

2. A plumber I would be
Plunge it, flush it, look out below!

3. A mermaid I would be
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop!

4. A carpenter I'd be
Two by four, nail it to the floor!

5. A secretary I'd be
z-z-z-z get the point, z-z-z-z get the point?

6. A teacher I would be
Sit down, shut up, throw away your gum!

7. An airline attendant I'd be
Coffee, tea, or me, sir; here's your little bag,BLEH!

8. A typist I would be
Ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ZING!

9. A hippie I would be
Love and peace, my hair is full of grease!
[or] Hey Man! Cool Man! Far out! Wow!

10. A farmer I would be
Here's a cow, there's a cow, and here's another yuck!
[or] Come on Betsy give... the baby's gotta live

11. A laundry worker I would be
Starchy here, starchy there, starchy in your underwear!

12. A cashier I would be
Twenty nine, forty nine, here is your change, sir!

13. A gym teacher I'd be
We must, we must, improve the bust!

14. A medic I would be
Turn around, drop your pants, jab, jab, jab!

15. A doctor I would be
Take a pill; pay my bill! I'm going golfing!
[or] Needle! Thread! Stick 'em in the head!

16. An electrician I would be
Positive, negative bbzzzzt zap

17. A fireman I would be
Jump lady, jump... whoa spat!

18. A cook I would be
Mix it, bake it; heartburn-BURP!

19. A ice cream maker I'd be
Tutti-frutti, tutti-frutti, nice ice cream!

20. A politician I would be
Raise the taxes, lower the pay, vote for me on election day!

21. A butcher I would be
Chop it up, grind it up, make a little patty!

22. A garbage collector I'd be
Lift it, dump it, pick out the good stuff
[or] Pile that garbage. Pile that garbage. Pile it to the sky.

23. A [Domino's] pizza maker I'd be
30 minute, fast delivery!

24. A clam digger I would be
Dig one here, dig one there-Oh my frozen derriere!

25. Superman I would be
It's a bird, it's a plane, where is Lois Lane?

26. Lois Lane I would be
Get away, get away, get away, Clark Kent!

27. A cyclist I would be
peddle, peddle, peddle, peddle; ring, ring, ring!

28. A truck driver I'd be
Here's a curve, there's a curve. HERE'S A BETTER CURVE!
[Makes outline of shapely woman.]

29. A house cleaner I'd be
Ooh, a bug; squish it in the rug!

30. A baby I would be
Mama, Dada, I wuv you!

31. A Preacher I would be
Well, well, you never can tell; you might go to heaven, or you might go to ...

32. A DJ I would Be,
Miles of smiles on the radio dial.

33. A Stewardess I would be,
Here's your coffee, here's your tea. here's your paper bag, urrrp

34. A Baker I would be,
Donuts! Eclairs! Buy My Buns!

35. A Lifeguard I would be,
Save yourself, Man. I'm working on my tan!
[or] Mouth to Mouth Resuscitate, What a way to get a date.

36. A Lawyer I would be,
Honest. I swear, My client wasn't there

37. An Undertaker I would be,
6 x 4, nail them to the floor.

38. An Engineer, I would be,
Push the button, push the button, kick the darn machine.

39. A Ranger I would be,
Get eaten by a bear, see if I care.

40. A Scoutmaster I would be,
Do this, do that, I'm gonna take a nap.

Finally: A Girl Scout I would be!